Limits of an Infinite Self

Such musings come to mind as I reflect on my thoughts of the past week or two. I seek perfection (in the verb sense, to perfect); it is in my nature. So when I recently found a Finnish translation of Gnostic teacher Samael Aun Weor's book The Perfect Matrimony at the public library, I naturally took it out and started to read, with great interest. The book brought together for me certain hanging threads from previously gathered information: specifically, it brings into focus the razor's-edge road of sacred sex. It purports to reveal the one and only way to incarnate the “soul” by birthing the inner “vehicles,” the astral, mental, and causal Christ-bodies. Far from being in a position to confirm or refute what the old dude is talking about, I find much there that resonates as “truth.” At the same time, while I resonate strongly with much of the Gnostic reality tunnel, I find it also quite unforgiving. I get a sense of extreme demand for impeccability – not a problem in itself, like I said, I am a perfectophile – and very much a sense that its message is only for the few who are ready and able to receive it. I deplore the state of man and this world of traps and lies as much as anyone. I would desperately like to see these things change for the better, and I would definitely desire to be able to freely traverse higher realms and access the clairsentient senses... but I am what I am, where I am. The threshold of the Ninth Sphere is closed to me; my wife was deeply insulted when I said I would like to make love without orgasm. Such a thing does not make sense to her; she would rather be celibate. I do not blame her for my not being allowed or able to follow that path; we are what we are, where we are. I deeply and painfully feel my lack of capacity for authentic, selfless love; I am daily struck with demonstrations of my own weaknesses and failings of character; I am, perhaps, most likely, not a candidate for the path of white magic at this time. I lack certain virtues that only further experience in this dense material-realm dream state can confer. Certain hindrances are in place that are yet to dissolve. So, as constricting and frustrating as my life situation feels at times, I know that these unsatisfactory (to the self) conditions exist for a reason. They provide catalyst for the necessary changes – refinements, realizations, releases from conditioning, etc. – to my ego-self. They force me to do work now that would otherwise take forever. For that, I must try (grin) to be grateful.

One thing I can say in favour of the value of sacred sexual practice, having actually tried it for three days, is that it greatly increased my vital energy. I found it much easier to stay grounded, joyful, positive, calm, enthused, etc. It was like stepping into a much more spiritual-oriented self than the usual struggle with lower impulses. Lord Krishna said, “Success is speedy for the energetic.” I believe sexual energy, properly used and directed, is precisely what he was talking about. So if you can go that route, I do recommend it.


An excerpt from the book “The Perfect Matrimony”, chapter entitled “Love”, written by Samael Aun Weor

To wrap up, I will finish with a realization that came about when I was prevented by technical issues from listening to a highly interesting interview online. There really is no need, in the end, to seek knowledge or affirmation from any outside source. All we need is to talk to the Ineffable as though it really were present. It is the greatest source – the ultimate and only source – of Love and Wisdom and Power. Why wouldn't you try to make friends with it? It's the only thing that really makes sense. So, whatever else you do or don't do, talk to God. Just do it. I'm gonna try, every day. It's never let me down yet. It's the daily practice, the not letting up, that counts for results. That's what I'm told by one who's been there, so I'm not just BSing you from my own ignorance, heh heh. (wink)

OK, I'm gone. See you later, 'bye!

I dreamed we were in a big house in the city. The view outside the window was cold and grey. An iron wind and a chill fog bleakened the landscape of concrete surfaces and dilapidated apartment buildings. A voice thundered down from above the clouds, a haughty, commanding, authoritarian, utterly unsympathetic voice that would brook no dissent. I recognized the tone: Anunnaki, from Nibiru. They had returned to reclaim real estate Earth from the hands of their renegade son, Marduk -- Satan, King of the World.

"This is the Ship," the voice announced. It commanded that we were to immediately empty our houses into the streets. All belongings and furnishings were to be brought outside. The threat of annihilation should we not comply was strongly suggested. *

If they had been listening for a response, we would have told them to stuff it. As it was, we knew we had very little time. Similar ships, or the same one, had already visited a few cities around the globe. We had heard that the inhabitants had all given in within hours, submitted to the rule of these offworld overlords.

It was time to take stock of our situation, and fast. We had not expected to end up in this situation so early. We felt unprepared. But I knew we had a chance, a fighting chance. We had one ace we could play that would make us immune to their threats and give us the victory, let us finally assert our sovereignty as human beings.

"ARE WE MULTIDIMENSIONAL?" I wrote on the blackboard.

What do we need for that to happen, for us to be capable of tuning in to our true power and  awareness? I listed the requirements on the board: clean diet; clear hearts and minds; full self-knowledge and self-acceptance; karmic bonds released; physical and spiritual dharmic practices honed as one; connection and communion with our inner divine selves, with each other as a group, and with the whole of Nature, cultivated in our everyday life.

We were as ready as we could be.

There was only one more step: we needed to step up and take on what we were. Step into our inheritance. Reclaim what was always ours but we had never dared to believe was ours. Believe. Know. Embody. Enact.

That was our final challenge. And we would do it. We would step up, as one, together with all the pieces of Gaia that shared her spirit and her desire to be free.



----------------------------



* I grasped intuitively that this was the fear test. They were testing how far they could push us humans, how easily we would be corralled into their new world order by sheer bully tactics. In the real world, this type of tactic will not be used in such a literal fashion! The Anunnaki would prefer to gain our consent through clever deception. Of course, they will always use fear as their fundamental tactic...

Anyway, it was our house, our home, our place, our sanctuary that we'd built over years. God-like technologies or no, they had no more right than anyone else to come barging in and try to make people violate their own homes on their behalf.

Horseshoe crabs in a yin/yang configuration Water = Blood Their blood is our blood. The ocean that bears them bears us.

"See her as she is..."

You look. At her. You look.

Look.

See.

Do not project, do not remake her in your image,

Just See.

There. And there. And there. And there.

Look closer.

See the fineness, the microscopic detail. Every little hair lit up by the sun. Lines on her skin like fractal webs.

Look. Focus! Look deeper. Here and there. All over.



"There's someone in there..."

A Mystery. A long-forgotten Other.

The Other you've been searching for, without knowing what it was you sought.

Not your Self. You may have mistakenly believed yourself to have been seeking your Self. But no, it was not the Self you truly sought.

It was the Other.

The banished Other.

The disowned Other.

The denied Other.

The unknown, unfelt, unseen, unheard, untasted, unsmelled, Other.

The not-understood Other.

The betrayed and the betrayer, Other.

The unreconciled Other.

The unexplored, unencountered Other.

The wounder and the wounded, Other.

The one who had forgotten you, and whom you had forgotten.

The One who is your Self, apart.

Viewed from outside. Viewed as separate.



"Her eyes!"

They open.

They look. Back at you.

A deep, a beautiful Eye like a jewel, like night. Just for you.



"Self, seeing the Divine Other."

"You are Self, looking at Divine Other in me. I am Self, looking at Divine Other in you."

You see her as she is, just as she really is.

You know her as she is, just as she truly is.

You love her as she is, just as she really is.

You tell her so in like words.

You enjoy her, so much!

You never thought there could be so much to take in of her.

You delight in her, in her warm, close presence.

Her foibles and idiosyncrasies,

Her warts and crooked bits,

Her weaknesses and imperfections,

They are just dressing on the Soul.

The she you see is a flesh-and-blood creature.

It's not Her as She is.

She looks  t h r o u g h  her "self" at you, but She is behind the self.

She is the Divine Other.

The one you love.

The one you lost.

The one you've found again.



"I've found you!"

Oh, delicious Knowing!

The *seeming* Other!

Just the One, experiencing itself by way of the "Other."

A game of recognition.

Gnosis. Knowing.

Through unknowing, to Knowing.

It's the One you came here to see.

It is She. In her is the One.

She is the One for you.

She shows you the One, as its unique and personal expression.

She. Is the One. For you.

Her pleasure and her joy are your delight.

Your passion has been flaring up the entire time.

This passion, this pleasure, this ecstasy,

Of Being with the Other.

Of Knowing, and Feeling, through Love, on all the levels of body, heart, mind and soul.

Not hallucinating, not inwardly involved.

But open. And trusting. And intimate.

And you give her yourself, you give her yourself, you give her yourself.

And all that you are is hers. And she gives you the same gift in return, gives herself to you to Love.



"This is Love!"

It is a torrent of feeling, an ever-dancing wind of possibility and power, an exquisite ecstasy of seeing and being seen, of pleasuring and being pleasured.

An ever-opening lotus flower, the joy of an ever-expanding Knowledge of the Other and the Self.

A free and light and easy joy that permeates every thought, word, and deed.

You treat her like you would want an Other to treat you.

You tell her what you would need to hear, if you were in her place.

You consider her side equally with your side.

You honour and respect her.

This is how you play the game!



"And we are in Gaia, with Gaia..."

You are in Gaia, with Gaia, both together in the dream of Gaia.

In Kali's Game....



She has woken you up.

Now you must awaken her.

She saw you before you saw into her and saw Her.

She loved you before you learned to love her.

Her love allowed you to make your leap of faith, now yours must help her to find her wings.

She has awakened you, and now it is your turn to awaken Her.



See her as She is.

That is the beginning. The rest will follow.

Tom at Montalk.net has been working on a series of in-depth research articles concerning the Big Picture of what's going on on Earth and in the cosmos, focusing on the role of advanced alchemy, or as he calls it, high Demiurgic technology, in a time war scenario where the prize is the destiny of the universe. One side in this spiritual war is led by the corrupted Demiurge toward materialism and hierarchy, and the other is led by the Christos toward awakening and liberation. How this pertains to us personally, I leave to your own insight and imagination... but if you're interested in such things, I recommend you check out this series.

1 - Corruption of the Demiurge

2 - The Philosopher's Stone

3 - The Holy Grail

4 - Ark of the Covenant

5 - Mosaic Abuse of Demiurgic Technology

6 - Nordic Aliens and the Grail Race

7 - Dawn of a New Cosmic Day

... and more to come...

From Bernhard Guenther, based on his article of the same name.

Turns out my laptop was only temporarily dead. (shock.gif, dismay.jpg) Well, it was only a matter of time before my new-found peace in the home was disturbed once more by the renewed presence of this piece of technology and the world that it brings with it. The real challenge begins now: how to coexist with this most perfectly adapted waster of time and energy, this portal into cyberspace. Being without it for only a couple of days has been a wonderful experience. It was a chance to see life very differently: as it is all around me, full of potential for so much more than sitting in front of a glowing screen trying to live without living, without really being present, connections only virtual. I've been freed from all that to do the things I really want and need to do. To live consciously moment to moment, responding to the immediacy of life with integrity.

In these days, I have repeatedly heard the phrase “Know what you're doing.” Being conscious of what one is doing, how it's done, and why, is so important.

Listen.......
to nature.
Listen.......
to yourself.
Listen.

A time to sow, and a time to reap.
A time to wake, and a time to sleep.

Looking in the mirror...
Now is a time to step up and BE who you are. No more compromises and half-truths, no more going along with anything that's not in line with soul purpose. Your life is yours to live. If it's worth living, then it's worth living well. Hold yourself to your standards, and let go the failures of the past. BE HONEST.

Spring and a new beginning. A new beginning every day, as often as it's needed.

Mother Nature, Gaia-Sophia, calls her child to renew his remembrance of her in all that he does. To call upon her in every need, to give thanks for all that she so abundantly provides. She is now in full possession of her faculties, and offers to her child the opportunity to grow with her in this end-time of great upheaval, completion and transformation. There is still time to sow, there is no better time to invest one's labour in the things that truly matter. The harvest will come, and it will reap the fruits of all that has been sown, for joy and for suffering, for destruction and for new beginnings.

..love and peace..

To honour and love God and one's fellow creatures - mineral, plant, animal, or human - is the totality of the law. If we do not know ourselves, how can we know others? How can we know God?

To see ourselves in others, not as projections of ego, but as individual expressions of the same essence of God. All that endures is God, all else is but the ever-changing dream in the imagination of God.

To know is to perceive directly. We do not perceive; we are too caught up in chasing our thoughts, from past to future to past again. Fantasy, delusion, worry, regret, interpretation through the filter of the unknowing, conditioned mind. Or we are embroiled in sensation, craving pleasure and avoiding pain. Identifying as the content of our mental, emotional and physical experience, instead of as what we truly are. Thus we enslave and imprison ourselves and are tossed about by outer circumstances and our unconscious drives. Truth as it can be perceived exists only in the present.

To make the unconscious, conscious. This is the beginning of the alchemical work. The proper study of man is man himself. What lies hidden within him. Observing, without bias or judgment, one's actions, feelings, thoughts, and motives. Passionless understanding. Accepting, and accepting responsibility.

This writer is a fool, as are all common men. The only thing keeping him from being a perfect ignoramus and an imbecile is his flickering recognition of the fact that he does not know, does not perceive, only thinks, feels, senses outwardly, and foolishly parrots the thoughts of others without real understanding. Even were this not the case, you would be a fool to assume otherwise. Anything he says must be tried and proven first. And if you know directly, you have no need of his words at all.

What we might call "knowledge" is not given. It is earned. Through suffering and striving. Through patience and labour. And even then it is only one's own subjective experience. True knowledge surpasses all this, all the efforts of man. It is timeless. It is priceless. It is to perceive what is. How shall we who are blind and deaf, perceive?

We are blind and deaf because of the thick miasma and dirt of illusion and sin that covers us. So many are comfortable with this condition, they seek to preserve it and deepen it. You who desire the sincere and loving, all-illuminating truth, must not be so complacent as these. You have your work cut out for you.

Purification. Cutting through the illusion, casting off the sin. This requires brutal honesty and total commitment. Yet it is not merely the work of the separate little you, capricious and weak. It is the work of God within you. The divine will, the divine intellect, the divine love.

With God all things are possible.

God is within you, and you are within God. Rejoice and give thanks, for it is God who created you, God who sustains you, and God who will transform you in ways you never imagined. Life and death, night and day. One eternal Being.