The Journey Continues

Hello again!

After months away, I put myself on the spot, to try to bring forth words that might hold some meaning relevant to the occasion. A summing up of the past year? What happened? I got older, certainly. Hit my first Saturn Return.

"Youth is wasted on the young." What does that mean? Did I waste my youth? Did I not make the most of my time while I had more freedom to do as I wished? (Yes and no. Realistically... no.)

Freedom. One of those words so poorly understood, and a thing so rare to experience when one's mind is shackled to its own limiting ideas. "None are so hopelessly enslaved as those who falsely believe that they are free." "Fate is written in the cards we are dealt, destiny manifests in how we play them." "Everything is under control." "You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free."

But truth is hard. It's not comfortable or convenient to us, as creatures of desire and fear. It takes experience, as served to us by a phenomenon we could think of as "Dungeon Master of the Universe," to get us to assimilate those truths we would rather hide from.

"Enlightenment is a destructive process." Light, objective awareness, undoes illusion so that what is can be perceived at a higher level of truth, understood from a more complete perspective. It is a peeling away and dismantling of the layers obscuring and distorting reality. What is, is. The more we become aware of what is, the more our barriers break down, our buffers collapse, our lies deflate and our conflicts come to resolution. This could not be otherwise, for the energy these patterns consume becomes too great in the presence of a growing awareness of what is. So we let go, we stop feeding them. Truth remains, self-existing. The burden of falsehood no longer hinders us. Our ghosts and mirages no longer lead us in fruitless circles.

But there are no circles, only spirals. Life is a continuous fractal wave, vibrating in all possible dimensions, one single energy flowing through all patterns. There is only one. All patterns evolve in a collective interdependence, unfolding according to their nature. Human beings are a type of pattern. But what defines human?

Form? Humanoid a morphogenic template suited to a particular class of experience in physicality. Probably ubiquitous throughout the cosmos. Thousands of strains, millions of races, maybe. Who knows? All kinds of souls incarnate in human form. The whole spectrum of which could be represented here on Earth at this time, all with the same DNA template. Along with a number of non-souled human vehicles, serving other purposes... who knows?

Being human here is like being in a massively multiplayer, live-action roleplaying game a sandbox. "We're all here to do what we're all here to do." You get your avatar when you're born, astrologically and genetically made to order for the type of experience you're going for, pre-loaded with your karmic imprint from previous lifetimes. You've got your soul family that you stick with inside the game and out, and you all agree to help each other along. Of course, there are levels to the gameplay, each with its own possibilities and challenges.... "Choose your own adventure." Be aware, else stumble and err, for snare upon snare awaits the unaware. So we learn and go on.

Some of us are playing at a more advanced level. Doesn't mean they're any better as individuals probably they've just been at it longer than others, had more opportunity to gather experience. Probably spent time on other locales previous to coming here. They've honed specific skills, served and stumbled here in prior lifetimes, in preparation for the greatly enhanced opportunity offered by this time, extended to all beings incarnate here now.

The time of harvest. The turning of the age. A summing up, a great reckoning, a day of judgment that will see us all heading to wherever it is we're going from here. Your direction forward determined by who you've become, by your choices and by your heart's desire. Ultimately, by divine will, by the perfect wisdom resident in every atom, every cell, and every human being. The core of who we are, the inner dwelling-place of truth, our radiant living essence, knows exactly what is meant to happen, in accordance with the whole of existence. The separate mind cannot fathom such truth; it sees aimless chaos in direct relation to its degree of separation. Disappointment is its lot, after the fleeting sense of fulfillment that passes every time it satisfies another want.

The true "I" wants for nothing. It is already home, forever complete, forever at peace. It is the integration of Truth that leads to the knowing of this permanent "I": the fount of wisdom, the source of eternal joy, the wellspring of happiness, the author of infinity, the limitless Being, the all-knowing Love that permeates creation, the animating principle of Life itself. We are meant to enjoy full communion with it; it is our forgetting sleep that keeps us seemingly cut off, unaware of its presence. Our immersive identification with the unreal, the imaginaerum, this dream become nightmare in the dark age before the dawn, consumes us.

Be not afraid. There is nothing to harm you here. All is experience, a continuous evolution of experience. The self creates itself. It sees its own reflection. This is the mechanism behind soul evolution. It's what you do with it, and the quality of your awareness, that determines what you experience. Where do you want to go? Do you even know? Unknowing can lead to tragedy: the falling away, the path of destruction. The inverted path, where everything is reversed. Trajectory into disease, distortion, dysfunctional dynamics. Domination-subjugation. Deprivation and predation. Dependency and despair. Limitation and loss. It's a loop we all go through, on some level. But it, too, takes us forward. When we become aware. When we awaken. The detour is another adventure, another opportunity to see. We go deeper and deeper until we do begin to see. The phantom attraction fades and our discontent draws us toward the light. The longing grows within us to return. Home beckons us once again. This happens again and again and again.

It's the enchantment.

It's the game.

There was never anything else.

Only us.

Only Love.

We pretended... and we forgot.

Why did we forget?

Oh my God! I am so sorry! I am so sorry for the game.

But we came back.

We came back, and we remembered.

And here we are.

We won.

We always win.

We always come back.

And we forget.

Every time, every time, every time we forget.

Oh my God! Why do we always forget?

Please remember!

Please remember this!

It's the Why.

It's the Reason we are here.

It is What. We. Are.

It's the Love!

It's the Love!

It's the Love!

Please, don't forget.

Please, remember.

You must remember this.

It's the Love.

You must carry it with you, this Love, this Truth, inside you.

You know.

You know.

You know it in your heart.

And your heart will always guide you back.

That spark will guide you back. To remember.

Don't believe the lie.

All this madness. It is a lie! It is illusion.

But the lie will lead us back.

When we see the lie for what it is: not Truth.

Not Truth, it cannot satisfy.

We begin to seek, we begin to question.

And when we seek, we find.

The Truth.

That we are here.

And we have always been here.

In Love, sweet Love!

I Love you, I Love you, I Love you forever!

And you are not you, and I am not I, apart.

But we are One.

You and I, just the One.



    Namaste brother William; excellent thought provoking post. It was a very nice surprise to see your post on my blog roll today.

    In Lak'ech, prosper with wisdom live with love....


    Namaste Chris, it's pleasant to hear from you. The life lessons and events I've gone through this year have kept me preoccupied, but I intend to continue writing here more actively again.

    Blessings on your path,


    Hi William.
    What a comeback post!
    Since consciousness is primary, and matter, secondary, I assume that everything in the world of matter means something. We just don't always understand what it means. I think it is highly significant that we have collectively manifested the virtual reality multiplayer RPG, and in this time, when we desperately need to remember who we are. If someone playing one of those games became convinced he was his avatar, anyone would call it delusion. Yet, that's just what we have done! I've found the virtual reality game metaphor incredibly valuable. It can help one simultaneously, maintain inner peace and fearlessly meet challenges that present themselves, since they are the whole point of the game. Personified or not, every game has one or more adversaries, else it's not a game. In virtual reality games, the major adversaries can't be played, because, if they had a choice, they might not fulfill their role in the game. I wonder how far the RPG/incarnation similarities go. It occurred to me recently that any game level is usually attempted several times, but only saved on successful completion.
    Welcome back!


    Hi Amanda,

    Thanks for your thoughtful comment. It's good to be back.

    After making this post, I had a dream where I was pretty much inside a freaky-ass video game that was indistinguishable from reality. I was at an almost impossible part, with multiple nightmarish enemies, traps, and puzzles all in one room. The first time I went in, I had no idea what I was facing, but I went ahead and did my best, even though the situation seemed beyond impossible and the main boss appeared truly scary. I did pretty well, but failed to complete my task in the end. Then I went back to before I entered the room, like a save point. This time, foreknowledge made me hyper-cautious, but it also gave me an edge. I intuited that the situation was made to be impossible when played straight, on the level of awareness that I'd had going into it. So I distanced myself, tried to see beyond it, through the surface layer of the illusion. It was then that I had nothing to fear. I was able to communicate with the main boss of the room (a soul-chillingly creepy creature, part flesh, part A.I.) and found him to be a quite intelligent fellow, with no personal ill will toward me. It was my adversarial attitude that had made his role so threatening before. Since we were communicating respectfully as equals, and I asked for his help, he gave me the missing clue to get past the room. I didn't need to fight anyone or even rack my brain to solve the puzzle. At this point, I had become aware that I was in a virtual reality, playing a dream-self avatar. The rules and values of the game then adjusted accordingly. Much more forgiving, much less trouble. :)

    Interesting conjecture about the NPC adversaries. According to John Lash's Fallen Goddess Scenario, the archons are a non-living intelligence, an artifact of the fall of Sophia into her created world of Earth. It's conceivable, probable, and even inevitable that we would have such A.I. entities here, on all levels.

    I look forward to writing more here. See you around!