Limits of an Infinite Self

War is bad. We don't like war. Never wanted it.

If anyone's been wondering why I chose “New Renaissance” as the defining term for my recent series of posts on influential personalities, the answer is simple.

It's an unoriginal, pretentious, forced-sounding name that borders on the ironic, and yet, in a very deep sense, it does capture the essence of what I see beginning to happen. And yes, I did pretty much just pull it out of my ass. So much the better!

Because of something I caught wind of today (the 2nd of November as I write) concerning an upcoming significant date in (one or more of) the Mayan calendar(s), I checked my pitifully meager offline resource to see what, if anything, it had to say about this. As I expected, there was nothing specifically about November 8, 2009 – but there was a short piece on the Sixth Day of the Galactic Underworld, which just so happens to be ending right about now. And wouldn't you know it, the Sixth Day is also called the “Renaissance.” Synch!

Those doggone Mayan calendars keep cropping up; I find them impossible to ignore. Not to mention that their way of structuring and assigning meaning to time actually makes much more sense to me than this arbitrary Gregorian calendar we seem to be stuck with.

The 260-day Tzolk'in, for instance, gave me a whole new insight into who I am and what I'm all about in this particular lifetime. My Gregorian birth date translates as 13 Cimi. Thirteen is the sacred number of ascension and the completion of all things. Cimi is Death, the Transformer, which is big on transitions. Both are highly appropriate to my sense of purpose and my life experience thus far; taken together, they do as neat a job of summing me up as such a simple system could ever do.

To me, Death implies Rebirth. Rebirth = Renaissance. We are witnessing the steady and sure Death of everything that is out of resonance with what's coming. Some things will not survive at all; others must evolve or suffer the same fate. This is good. We don't want to bring the nasty baggage with us, and not only do we not want to, we can't. Those who insist on trying will find out just how futile that is. At the same time, seeds that have been lying dormant for as long as our “modern” dark age has existed are now sprouting. In the end, those seeds will spring up luxuriantly and exuberantly through the mulch of decay, bringing about the hard-won, glorious Rebirth of humanity.

You might be asking how I can state those things with such seeming certainty. My friend, these things are written. They are written in ancient heirloom teachings from eras past. They are written deep in humankind's genetic, racial memory. They are written in the movements of the heavenly spheres. They are written in the phenomena of the nature around us, if we but stop to observe and to ponder them. And from where I'm standing, these things are pretty much written on the wall. Not to mention in my heart, in the place that never, never knew a lie.

(At the same time, I don't want to pretend I'm totally free of any doubts about this thing. But those doubts come from a lower place. They're there to keep me on my toes and remind me how much work I still have to do on myself.)

I can't hope to convince anyone. I'm not equipped for that. But I can point you to some of the folks who might be able to help you convince yourself, if you're open to that.

I know, and I want to emphasize this, that everyone has their own truth, their own unique path to follow. This isn't about me trying to herd people onto my path. God forbid. Hell, I barely know what my path is. And I could be wrong about anything. The wise ones tell me to always be aware and to keep reminding myself of the eternal fact that I just... don't... know. The minute I forget that, I'm setting myself up for a fall. And falling hurts. But it's OK. Because everything is OK. We live and learn.

Now that I and my writing have once again come down to the level of a child, I think I shall call it a night.

P.S. The Dog Poet is rescheduled for tomorrow. Suspense getting to you? You know, you could just google it, find his stuff, and never glance at my blog again. (grin)

P.P.S. Children are amazing teachers. Seems like the younger and simpler they are, the more profoundly that holds true. ^^

Okay, so he's not really a face – I couldn't find a picture of the guy – but Clif High, if anyone, is a true renaissance man. He doesn't paint, but together with his associates (notably George Ure) he has almost single-handedly invented a whole new science: predictive linguistics. (Though it's a safe bet that some government agencies have probably developed their own versions of it for their own uses, wink wink.) Before anyone dismisses him as a quack, I'd like to point out that he's not proposing anything more radical or against the grain than the simple hypothesis that probable future events with high emotional impact can send ripples backward in time that subtly affect the word choices people subconsciously make in their everyday communications on the Internet. OK, that is pretty radical. But he's under no delusions of being able to actually predict the future, and he makes that very clear. What predictive linguistics can do is spot trends in language that, processed and interpreted, often appear to correlate strongly with events that happen later, right down to the specific timing and archetypal significance of the events.

(To demonstrate the principle that we're all a little bit psychic, just do some searching for references to the events of September 11, 2001 from before that date. You'll turn up the most uncanny references in the most unlikely places. It's hard to believe any common person had foreknowledge of the attacks, so a more plausible explanation is that these were psychic echoes reaching back in time, conceivably transmitted, propagated, and received through some kind of shared subconscious.)

Clif himself does a much better job of describing the technical process, but essentially you have a bunch of “spyders” or web bots constantly reading new material on the Internet, programmed to look for certain words and phrases and record the words and phrases that surround them. This generates a huge amount of raw data that becomes the input for “modelspace,” a computer-generated model of how language is being used. From there it's a matter of filtering out the noise, picking out the trends in word associations that might mean something, and trying to puzzle together just what the heck they mean. That process is messy, delicate, extremely complicated, heavily biased, and subject to a metric crapload of error.

Clif periodically publishes the results of this mad science in the Asymmetric Language Trend Analysis (ALTA) reports, which he makes available, complete with dire warning labels and a page's worth of fine-print disclaimers, for a very modest per-issue subscription fee. I ordered Volume 0, Issue 1 back in August, and I have to say he's not kidding with those warnings. If you do buy one yourself (you poor sap), don't distribute copies and don't post the text of it online. That messes up the modelspace with self-referential knots that Clif then has to lose sleep untying, and could threaten the whole project. Other than that, have fun scaring the bejeebers out of yourself! Yup, it's probably a good idea not to take any of it too seriously.

As an antidote to the intense negativity in his ALTA reports and to the crummy side of life in general, Clif recommends pie. In fact, he's earned himself the nickname of “pie guru.” This and many, many other highly worthwhile tidbits come out in his frequent radio interviews. I never cease to be amazed at the scope of the man's knowledge. He must have read thousands of books on all kinds of interesting topics.

Anyway, the reports aren't all doom and gloom. – Oops, I just caught myself about to copy-paste from the August 2009 report. Hmm, gotta put this in my own words. Well, there's a catch-all entity in modelspace for all the weird, unknown, unexplained, and officially denied stuff. For some reason, it's apparently less inaccurate than the other entities, and going by the report, we should be headed for some highly interesting times in that area. In fact, those times have already begun, with NASA obligingly having gone ahead with its absurd plan to “bomb” the moon. A funny choice of words for a funny little operation. “Looking for water?” Puh-leeze.

Also according to Volume 0, Issue 1, we should now (November 4-8, 2009) be in the minimum of a “low” period of “building” emotional tension, as opposed to a high, where the uptight energy gets released. Which could explain why I'm feeling almost euphoric about how things in general are going. Thinking back one year, to my twenty-fourth birthday and the election of Barack Obama, my emotions were very similar, although much stronger, at that time as well. Perhaps it's one of those echoes, going forward in time?

As a final note on Clif High's work thus far and as the segue to my next entry, the report contains references to a mysterious figure known as the “dog poet,” who is supposed to become a key personage in the coming “war” between the powers-that-be and the common folk. The report is quite circumspect as to the identity of this person, with Clif undoubtedly looking to provide just enough clues so that the aware can deduce who it is, without placing this individual at risk. Fortunately, though, the Dog Poet himself has since come forward, and has, I assume, not overly endangered himself by doing so. Who is he? Stay tuned and find out.

David Wilcock has had an active Internet presence since the '90s, and his popularity has steadily risen. He started his public career doing dream readings, but stopped when the demand became too great to keep up with. He's best known for his research into consciousness science, based on the idea that consciousness is an omnipresent energy field that underlies all physical phenomena. In support of this and related hypotheses, he presents a considerable amount of persuasive evidence from experimental data that, all too often, has been glossed over, shrugged off, or swept under the rug by the mainstream scientific community. Eventually, I believe, the stuff he talks about will be commonly accepted in crotchety ol' academic circles as well. ;)

David's work is quite broad in scope. In addition to the research, the writing, and the lecturing, he has produced a double-length music album in collaboration with Larry Seyer called Wanderer Awakening. David did the drum section and all the vocals himself. I have listened to it many times, despite the fact that the music genre (varieties of '60s–'70s classic rock) was mostly rather foreign to my pre-existing tastes. The album has grown on me, however, and it always leaves me in a refreshed and uplifted state of mind and heart. If I have any criticism, it's that his lyrics are sometimes kinda literal and preachy, in a prosy style for the most part – but actually, now that I think about it, there's a lot of poetic bits too, more open to interpretation. Some might be put off by the fact that the narrator starts out as a cosmic creator-being who then descends to a human level, but I think the premise is executed well in an artistic sense and can be appreciated without necessarily buying into the philosophy. The closing words of the album resonate so deeply in my soul that it's almost scary. (grin) But seriously, it's all about releasing fear and the desire for control, embracing love and freedom instead. “Love is everything / Everything is Love.” How can you get any truer than that?

David's profile just keeps on rising these days. He's set to appear in a TV documentary about 2012, and he's producing a feature film called Convergence. I look forward to both.

The biggest criticism David attracts is aimed at his position on President Barack Obama. He's convinced that Obama is ultimately his own man, and will actually be an agent of the positive “change” he promised in his election campaign. This stands in sharp contrast to the apparent near-consensus in conspiraciology spheres, which paints Obama as a puppet of globalist masters, the international banksters and powerbrokers of Bilderberg and CFR infamy. My own position is one of reserved judgement, the “wait and see” approach. I certainly hope David is right, but at the moment there are too many conflicting messages for me to be convinced either way. Still, Obama's a heck of a lot easier to believe in than Senators McCain or Clinton would have been. I see him as a sort of blank screen, on which people can project whatever they expect to see, and that's probably intentional to some degree. Time will tell what he's really made of. The real litmus tests are yet to come, I think.

David's other “soft spot” is his claim to be the reincarnation of Edgar Cayce. That's one of those things nobody can really prove, and to his credit, I guess, David has downplayed this aspect since coming out with the claim. It's ultimately neither here nor there, and I think those detractors of DW who focus on this aspect are really missing the point. It's basically an ad hominem attack, I'd say, because the Edgar Cayce thing has no bearing whatsoever on David's actual message.

And I do believe that that message will continue to reach more people and find more resonance in the world. David's message is very positive, infectiously so. He certainly acknowledges the negative, as he must if he is to be taken seriously, but works it all into a context and a core understanding that inspires one to have faith in the ultimate benevolence of the universe, and in the bright future of humankind. More power to him.

Who am I?

I honestly don't know.

I've got a general idea, though, so I'll get that out of the way first.

I am a bundle of energy. The same fundamental energy that makes up everything in existence, from gross physical matter all the way up to pure enlightened consciousness. This bundle that I experience as being “me” – or, perhaps more precisely, the bundle doing the experiencing, I don't know – vibrates on many planes, in many dimensions, of which I suspect most are more or less hidden from my current mode of awareness. There's an overarching part of me that's outside the whole concept of time, and then there's a bunch of little selves protruding out from that, through the veil, into the temporal realms. From this side of the veil, they might appear to occur at separate points in time, but viewed from the other side, all are simultaneous. They are all my incarnations in physical form. Unfortunately, the only one of them about which I consciously know anything is the one doing the writing here and now. He is, I'm afraid, only a very limited expression of who I truly am. A pitifully blind, foolish, and faulty being compared to the fullness of his unimaginably more evolved, timeless “future” self.

(Staying on this side of the veil for convenience, I use the terms “past” and “future” in their conventional sense.)

Having thus briefly established the general context, I am now left with only a puzzling series of clues as to my soul origin and my reasons for incarnating here at this time.

The first clue is that very little in this world of man's creation makes sense to me. I struggle to understand why the power centers of this world are dominated by psychopaths. I struggle to understand why the people tolerate being ruled by psychopaths whose greatest goal is to create a social system antithetical to freedom, hostile toward all things good and pure and true and natural. I struggle to understand the senseless violence and cruelty and destruction visited by humans upon those whom (and that which) they ought to love and cherish and protect. I struggle to understand the petty, selfish, manipulating ways of so many people.

The best explanation I've been able to come up with for all this is that Earth, in this age, is a tough, tough school. A “free-will free-for-all,” where these things have been allowed to develop because nobody is going to come along and fix them for us. They're not allowed to, even if they'd like to. This planet is the way it is because we, collectively, have made it that way through our free will. All it takes is a small minority of truly evil beings, left unchecked, to transform paradise into the pit of hell. We allowed these people to come along and slowly subvert our systems and our values. We're the ones that gave 'em the green light, when we went along to get along, didn't stop and say “Hey, this isn't okay.” We did that because most of us were too busy with all of our little preoccupations in life. We weren't paying attention. We ignored the signs they waved in our faces. And, quite frankly, we weren't grown up enough to take responsibility. Our history is mostly a history of adult children. Earth humans, on the whole, just haven't been very mature. We've been obsessed with the needs of our egos, and we've spread our disease over the whole earth. Hence, we suffer, and we pass that suffering on from generation to generation.

Now how is this a clue?

Well, my intuition has told me, and my readings up and down the Interwebs have indicated, that Earth is in transition from an age of darkness to an age of light. This is a common thread through so many different prophecies that it's hard to believe otherwise if you put any stock in such things. Of course, one must always employ the good old-fashioned reality check with such matters. As it turns out, I do see the signs of that happening in the real world. I certainly don't believe in any storybook climactic battle or any human revolution of the kind we've seen before. I do believe that change is happening in uncountable ways, large and small, from the mundane to the cosmic. The evidence is there if you just look for it.

So I chose to incarnate at this time of transition. I, who feel so strongly the desire for a better world, am, in my own small way, a part of making that better world manifest. If you have the same desire in your heart, then you are a part of it, too. :)

That assisting, supportive role is, I'm sure, a big part of the reason I came here. But how, specifically, am I supposed to fulfill it?

The best answer I have at the moment is, in whatever way I can.

I'm sure a large portion of my work here is done without my even being terribly aware of it. Just by holding my energy in a physical body, participating in the collective consciousness of Earth humanity, going through my own inner process of becoming, and touching the lives of those around me, I am helping.

I've worked at a lot of different jobs in my time here, most of them menial and some more obviously “service to others”-oriented, some less, but none of them have especially said to me, “this is what you're here to do.” They've all simply been learning experiences and ways to earn my bread. At the moment, I hail from the deep ranks of the unemployed. For my next job, I hope to deliver the mail.

If you were to ask me what my best talents are, I'd probably say writing and building my own creations out of LEGO. The former I am just about passable at, and the latter is simply the end result of a prolonged childhood hobby cum artistic pursuit which I am now apparently in the process of leaving behind (but not before I finish a few final works in progress, heh heh). I daresay neither is a realistic career-driver. I'd rather do those things on my own terms, for my own reasons, than subject to the demands of a market, anyway.

I haven't confirmed this, but I've been told (post-initiation) that I have an especially powerful ability to channel reiki. I'm pretty sure reiki isn't bull, because I've felt its effects several times. One of my former employers had a natural ability, which she demonstrated on me. I didn't even know what she was doing, but I suddenly felt like I was burning up from the inside. All she'd done was hold her hands over my shoulders. So that was definitely something real. And if I can develop that “talent” in myself, I'm sure it will be a good way for me to serve humanity in the future. (Besides, I really like the idea of what reiki is supposed to be: a sort of loving, intelligent life-force energy that replenishes and balances the energy centers of the body, bringing healing, peace, and vitality to both patient and healer. :) I'm sure science will one day explain it, and my mind will be glad when it does, but I'm satisfied with just the touchy-feely understanding of it, too. It's one of those things, I guess, that you have to experience for yourself to truly understand.)

Obviously, since I mentioned writing, that is one way I can be of service. I've actually had a couple of “guidance” dreams that seemed to underline the idea that I should keep a blog like this one. So here we are with that. Yay!

I won't get into the things I've learned about myself and my life purpose from numerology or Mayan astrology here, because this entry is long enough already. Maybe another time.

OK, so much for what I'm supposed to be doing here. (Besides the obvious life purpose of gaining experience and using it to grow, I mean.) But now I'm left with the hardest puzzle of all: where the heck am I from?

The short answer is, I don't know and I don't think it really matters at this point. On the other hand, I'm dying to find out. Is it inner Earth? Jupiter? Arcturus? The Pleiades? Sirius? Andromeda? Cassiopaea? Orion? Just throwing out names, lol. It could be any one of these, or none. I don't feel a special affinity toward any star system, species, or channeled group. I'm just “me,” plain and simple. But I must have been “somewhere else” in recent past lives, because even our very 3-D physicality seems so quaint and painfully limiting to me. (haughty voice) “Where I come from, you know, we have telepathy and instant teleportation.” Or something like that. (grin)

The question of my so-called “soul origin” remains open. I'm open to clues, but I'm not very hopeful, either. I think if I knew, I'd run the risk of identifying too strongly with some off-planet past, and distract and distance myself from where I am now. Because for now, I am one of the ones I came here to help. I'm as much an Earth human as anyone else here. It's the only way I could do what I'm supposed to do. And you know what? If a friendly stranger offered me a ride in their spaceship, I might be tempted... but I don't think I'd get on board. In this life, my place is here, among these fallen souls who I call my brothers and my sisters. I, along with all the others like me, am in this with them. Together we'll make what happens, happen. And “the Lord and all his angels” shall be with us. :)

I was browsing Godlike Productions this morning. That in itself is rather unusual, since my overwhelming impression of the place is the Internet equivalent of a procession of garbage trucks dumping load after load of random, worthless trash, much of it malodorous. Sure, there might be a few rare treasures amongst the refuse, but sifting through the piles for it just doesn't feel worth the trouble. Still, as a reading experience, it's a step up from the dreaded YouTube comment sections. I even read those sometimes. *shudder*

(I might as well mention that the path that brought me there was a Google search for "sleep deprivation hallucination," which was on my mind after a sleepless night due to the latest "high" cycle of my often bipolar disorder-like mood tendencies. I did find quite a deliciously disturbing tale, halfway down this page, in which Time behaves very, very badly.)

As chance would have it, one particularly active discussion thread, titled "I traveled through time," caught my eye. It was started by the cryptically named 369.994 on August 20th, the day before yesterday, and has reached nine pages as of this writing.

GLP, understandably, is a veritable tall tale magnet, attracting cranks, weirdos, and disinfo artists of all stripes. I'm sure this type of extraordinary claim is nothing new to the folks who frequent the place. Still, I'm more than a little intrigued by this case. There's nothing about it, in my opinion, that clearly and unquestionably places it in the hoax bin, despite all the usual calls of "B.S." from posters eager to prove their own talent for seeing through contrived, fallacious, and inflated crap.

369.994, if he (or she) is merely stringing us along, has played the role of a time-traveling future "amateur psyentist" pretty much flawlessly. His manner is sincere and no-nonsense. To my layman's understanding of such things, the presented scientific principles (and limitations) of the technologies he claims to be using seem plausible. His answers to people's questions about the future make perfect, simple, logical sense to my way of thinking and looking forward. If he's faking, then at least it's a good, entertaining fake! =)

To me, the most interesting question, especially if this is all for real, is the motive. In a more recent topic on another site, 369.994 claims to be from the year 2079, conducting a "social experiment." Of course, that would make sense from the hoax perspective, too! It's fun to imagine, though, what would motivate me to go back 70 years into the past and invite people to ask me about their perceived future / my perceived past. I'd probably do it just because I could! ;) Besides that, though, I think the time period in question, the next 70 years, is gearing up to be so unbelievably transformative that I'd see myself as potentially providing a genuine service by preparing people's minds just a little bit for some of the massive changes to come.

In response to queries on how to get through the turbulent times ahead, 369.994 recommended living in peace and ensuring one's own supply of clean drinking water and fresh, organic foods. Darn good advice in any case!

Our mysterious numeronymous friend also left us with a noteworthy unsolicited tidbit: a friendly suggestion to seek out and listen to something called "Invocation from Thoth's Chamber of the Great Pyramid of Giza." I found an MP3 by that name here. Who knows, there might be something to it. :) Leastways, this whole deal seems to carry a theme of sound, waves, frequency, music. I find myself wondering what's so special about F sharp... its frequency is, after all, 369.994 hertz... -.^ Hmmm.

I’m not an end-times prophet. Let’s get that out of the way first. With that said, there are many good, intelligent, aware people out there who, based on any of a myriad of sources from the scientific to the intuitive, are sounding the alarm bells. More power to them, say I. Because it’s clear to me that we are going through a time of epic crisis in pretty much all areas of human life. I am halfway convinced (my favourite way of being convinced! … OK, it is a little bit more than halfway in this case ;) ) that we are quickly bearing down on a climax point of some kind, which will decide the fate of our species and many of us individually. I feel like I’m in a cosmic movie, where the drama just keeps amping up.

At the same time, however, I am sceptical of pretty much all prophecies and predictions. So many events have been trumpeted as being right around the corner, and then failed to manifest. Anticlimax after anticlimax has been the general rule. It’s interesting to speculate why this might be, especially since I do believe time is very malleable, that the present exists simultaneously with all past and future moments, and that those with a perspective beyond 3-D space-time (whether that’s achieved through technology, psychic abilities, or an inherent hyperdimensional nature) can easily view probable future timelines.

Project Camelot is an interesting mindfuck. (Excuse my language, in this case I use the term in a positive sense – call me Humpty Dumpty!) I follow the site and have listened to a good portion of their interviews. (Some of the information is of high quality, some of it rather questionable – always exercise discernment!) Their conclusion as to our current timeline is that there is simply no longer any telling what’s gonna happen next. “All bets are off.” In the past, the powers that be could use remote viewing to gain an advantage over the rest of us; now, that advantage is more or less gone. We’re all sailing through this fog in the same boat, so to speak.

This post by Engtovo presents the explanation that the Creator force itself is intervening, steering things on the macro scale, presumably because this period of time is so utterly sensitive and critical that no lesser force could be entrusted with the job. Now how’s that for epic? Jeebus. Fortunately for us, though, our free will remains undiminished. (Maybe the preservation of free will is one of the Creator’s very reasons for stepping in?) Each one of us is still totally responsible for his or her own personal destiny within this grand scheme of things.

This is a bit of a diversion, but I can’t go without mentioning Clif High’s latest ALTA report as an example of these end-times predictions. I respect the man for his integrity in not pushing his conclusions as being actual predictions. He presents himself as being his own work’s biggest critic, and goes to great lengths to warn people not to invest actual belief in his *ahem* pseudoscientific results. “For entertainment purposes only,” cautions the caveat. So, what does this harmless piece of entertainment say is likely coming down the pike? Ho boy, don’t even ask. Some hella scary shit. Pay him a lousy ten bucks and you can read the doom porn for yourself. Read it and weep.

But you know what? The world could have burned a hundred times over by this point. Look at all the near misses we’ve had, the dire prophecies of death and destruction that never came to pass. It’s a goddamn miracle that I’m sitting here in my comfy little apartment, writing this tripe. Do you believe in miracles? I do. I can’t not believe.

Now, I think it’s entirely possible that the majority of Earth humans will perish in the years to come. It’s entirely possible that we’ll be hit with not one or two, but a veritable cascade of cataclysmic events, boom-boom-boom-boom-boom. It’s also entirely possible that our future as humanity will be brighter than we could even imagine. That our children and grandchildren will live in a world that is as harmonious and joyful and pure as our world is chaotic, violent, and corrupted. I believe in the possibility of these things.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me.

I don’t know what’s coming, or when. I don’t know if I’ll even survive the eschaton. I’d damn well like to, and something tells me I just might do it, but physical death doesn’t scare me either. Maybe I’m just full of the audacity of youth and a psychological illusion of immortality, but I know that the true 'I' will never die, only change and grow.

The universe is a glorious place, and whatever happens, I’m honoured to be a part of it. Love is infinite, and it really is the stuff we’re all ultimately made of. Pure energy. Can’t destroy that. Do with it what you will, but you can’t destroy it.

Here’s looking forward to the future. I say the more surprises it holds, the better. Bring it, Kosmos, baby, bring it!