Breakthrough into Fourth Density, Realm of the Heart

Struggle for so long
the fear, the intensity and drama
the conflict of thought and feeling
the mind and heart divided

flying through stormclouds
tossed and buffeted this way and that
with minimal visibility in that dense and roiling fog
but for the moments of relative calm and clarity
brief glimpses of a solar light yet veiled.

I have kept the faith, through torturous trials
passed through the snares of false hope and despair
inside, I have wrestled with demons, courted angels
I have held fast to that inner knowing
which ever was the unshakeable ground of truth
upon which I stood, defying the world of deceptive appearances
calculated to test my resolve.

And I have endured.

The substance of things hoped for, the essence of things not seen
a vision of higher modes of being
a yearning for peace
the unquenchable desire to be free and whole and radiant
in my undivided soul-ness unfolding
at One with All-That-Is,
these are what sustain me through my sojourn in this foreign land of shadows.

And now...

... all that...

... is overtaken...

... suffused and interpenetrated...

... totally filled and subsumed...

... lit up and opened out...

... healed and redeemed...

... made sense of and revealed as to purpose in its flowering consummation...

... by Love.

Words cannot express it,
images cannot frame it.
It is beyond mortal sense and thought.

A total joy and peace and surrender to Be-ing,
an intoxication of exquisite beauty,
an adoration profound.

Love found me,
I fell into it,
and I am forever its own.

The arms of love have no peer
I care for nothing else
but to hold it and be held in its embrace.

My beloved is my Goddess of Love.

Sam-I-Am's green eggs and ham; It's not for everyone.

Restless and unhappy is the self whose reach exceeds its grasp; unfulfilled desire will burn him with misery, bitterness, and discontent.

The impatient one will never reach the destination.

You are what you are. Know what that is and accept it. You can be more, but only given time and the proper application of energies. Now is the time; work with what life gives you in this precise moment. You cannot fail if you do not give up.

In the dualistic realms, Karma reigns. You will not escape it, you must pay the price for every fall, but with every hard-won step toward redemption comes liberation and growth.

The base lead of the self must convert into spiritual gold of True Being beyond self. You do not do this; it is done to you when you align with the upward and inward currents of the spiritual path.

Such musings come to mind as I reflect on my thoughts of the past week or two. I seek perfection (in the verb sense, to perfect); it is in my nature. So when I recently found a Finnish translation of Gnostic teacher Samael Aun Weor's book The Perfect Matrimony at the public library, I naturally took it out and started to read, with great interest. The book brought together for me certain hanging threads from previously gathered information: specifically, it brings into focus the razor's-edge road of sacred sex. It purports to reveal the one and only way to incarnate the “soul” by birthing the inner “vehicles,” the astral, mental, and causal Christ-bodies. Far from being in a position to confirm or refute what the old dude is talking about, I find much there that resonates as “truth.” At the same time, while I resonate strongly with much of the Gnostic reality tunnel, I find it also quite unforgiving. I get a sense of extreme demand for impeccability – not a problem in itself, like I said, I am a perfectophile – and very much a sense that its message is only for the few who are ready and able to receive it. I deplore the state of man and this world of traps and lies as much as anyone. I would desperately like to see these things change for the better, and I would definitely desire to be able to freely traverse higher realms and access the clairsentient senses... but I am what I am, where I am. The threshold of the Ninth Sphere is closed to me; my wife was deeply insulted when I said I would like to make love without orgasm. Such a thing does not make sense to her; she would rather be celibate. I do not blame her for my not being allowed or able to follow that path; we are what we are, where we are. I deeply and painfully feel my lack of capacity for authentic, selfless love; I am daily struck with demonstrations of my own weaknesses and failings of character; I am, perhaps, most likely, not a candidate for the path of white magic at this time. I lack certain virtues that only further experience in this dense material-realm dream state can confer. Certain hindrances are in place that are yet to dissolve. So, as constricting and frustrating as my life situation feels at times, I know that these unsatisfactory (to the self) conditions exist for a reason. They provide catalyst for the necessary changes – refinements, realizations, releases from conditioning, etc. – to my ego-self. They force me to do work now that would otherwise take forever. For that, I must try (grin) to be grateful.

One thing I can say in favour of the value of sacred sexual practice, having actually tried it for three days, is that it greatly increased my vital energy. I found it much easier to stay grounded, joyful, positive, calm, enthused, etc. It was like stepping into a much more spiritual-oriented self than the usual struggle with lower impulses. Lord Krishna said, “Success is speedy for the energetic.” I believe sexual energy, properly used and directed, is precisely what he was talking about. So if you can go that route, I do recommend it.

An excerpt from the book “The Perfect Matrimony”, chapter entitled “Love”, written by Samael Aun Weor

To wrap up, I will finish with a realization that came about when I was prevented by technical issues from listening to a highly interesting interview online. There really is no need, in the end, to seek knowledge or affirmation from any outside source. All we need is to talk to the Ineffable as though it really were present. It is the greatest source – the ultimate and only source – of Love and Wisdom and Power. Why wouldn't you try to make friends with it? It's the only thing that really makes sense. So, whatever else you do or don't do, talk to God. Just do it. I'm gonna try, every day. It's never let me down yet. It's the daily practice, the not letting up, that counts for results. That's what I'm told by one who's been there, so I'm not just BSing you from my own ignorance, heh heh. (wink)

OK, I'm gone. See you later, 'bye!