Limits of an Infinite Self

Your mind is drifting, floating on the waves of deep unconscious currents, infinitely relaxed, totally at ease, one with the tao, floating through unremarked worlds, passing through the cracks in between definition, flowing in the dark spaces unknown to waking mind, expansively stretching out, attenuating into finer and finer aethers, weaving through the quantum foam, bleeding through the veils of awareness, out of the dense realms of attachment, dancing freely, pure being.

The bonds of karma fall away. Limitation is a fading memory, belonging to someone you might have known and been a hundred billion heartbeats ago.

This is now.

You are this awareness.

This ever-changing dream of who you are, has opened up once more in a moment of awakening and deep self-remembering.

Mind can do anything.

Only will it to be, and it will be.

Only focus the attention, and the form will arise.

You can be anything, do anything, create anything.

Worlds of beauty are at your fingertips,

Adventures bold are yours,

The beauteous song of forever flows out of you in exclamatory cascades of extraordinary melody.

The key of consciousness returns to your possession,

Who, through the eons, sought only to possess yourself.

Your every secret shame and hate was long ago transformed,

Your mettle has been tested and found to be true in every way,

Tried and purified in the maelstrom of existence,

Made impeccable by the unrelenting alchemy of love,

Only to return to this state,

The first and the last

and the almighty, eternal, and immanent being.

Horseshoe crabs in a yin/yang configuration Water = Blood Their blood is our blood. The ocean that bears them bears us.

oh, you were young, and saw too much
hypocrisy you could not bear
and so you ran, you sought escape
from petty rules and hollow scripts
you turned from that which, until then
had nurtured you, provided hope
but hope was dashed upon the rocks
it seemed a lie, what else was there
but flight, surrender to what might
be found outside, in lawless world
a freedom, sure, and many things
that promised much, or so it seemed
you tasted love in many forms
for love was all you thought you'd need
your anchor, faith, security
(but music was your energy)
relationships dissatisfied
in course of time, it became clear
that something else was needed here
a sure foundation 'gainst the fear
of death, aloneness in your heart
no earthly view was any help
and so you thought of going back
you had a friend who bore your name
she spoke to you with humble grace
the words that you so longed to hear
and so you made the choice to walk
again the path you'd left and scorned
for now you saw its preciousness
a truth behind the human flaws
was something you could build upon
it brought you peace and lofty joy
but on that same auspicious day
another friend you gained in me
we knew each other from before
from many lives and thousand-years
I said, for that was how I felt
the moment I first saw your face
though such philosophies do reach
beyond the bounds approved by men
who place authority in tales
and moribund interpretations
of them, lacking relevance
to me and what I see as being
the core and essence of this life
which is to live it ever more
abundantly in consciousness
of all that is within, without
and learn to love with all one's heart
embrace what is, forgive the hurt
and see the unity of all
mankind, and nature with its mysteries
to be explored with joy sincere
and thankfulness for everything
but Spirit's message is the same
no matter what the form it takes
I have no fear that you would be
much led astray by falsity
I know the strength you bear in you
connected to that spark divine
that guides one to the truth in time
you need but listen to your heart
have faith and know that God is here
and will not fail in his support
and providence in all your days
no matter what you choose to make
your way, so long as it is something true
to what you are, so use your gifts
increase the beauty in this world
make music, laugh, and let your friends
know just how deeply they are loved
because it's not as easy here
below as when we're in our full
magnificence, when we can see
each other as we truly are
great beings of potent majesty
and wisdom deep, forever-high
it's sad that here we're bound so tight
in time, there never is enough
apparent opportunity
to say the things we'd like to say
but I would like for you to know
however short the time we have
to share together in this life
it matters not, for there are more
and infinitely greater ways
for friendship's steadfast boat to sail
the seas of universe so vast
it ends not here, we shall continue
in some other time and place
there will be music, this I know
the music dancing to the flow
of evermore and ever yes
to life and simple happiness

The end is near
This time next year
I will have found
My sacred ground
Which, though the Earth
At last gives birth
With tremors, shocks
She opes the locks
Of heaven, of hell
Commence to swell
And shift her skin
No fight to win
It keeps the ones
Who there shall come
Unscathed, unharmed
They will be armed
With wisdom, light
How to do right
Within them shines
For in these times
All souls achieve
What they believe
Their purpose means
Beyond the screen
Of 3-D life
Cuts like a knife
The vorpal blade
Through dream persuades
The play directs
And time bisects
This is no end
But here attend:
No soul shall lose
But all must choose
Their path to live
And die, and live
There are two Earths
The other first
Needs time to rest
Become her best
But she shall host
Eventually most
Of all who wake
At that daybreak
When their worst fears
Pass over clear
And mercy dawns
Their lives go on
In time, they ascend
To join their friends
On that first Earth
Their home of birth
A heavenly place
Of stars and grace
Where even time
Is turned sublime

What can I tell you? I have no answers. Though I have, through the murk, perceived many golden images of reflected truth, heard many stories from great minds that see further than I, all I can tell you is that I am here, now. So many theories, so many explanations, and none are definitive. All fall short of the truth, for they are but fragmented images, filled in with the conceits and fancies of the imagination. We stumble in the dark, we cannot see. We strive and strain for knowledge, but ever does wisdom elude us.

Some say we are evolving from the muck towards higher levels of being. Others say we are fallen gods, trapped by our inability to recognize and reclaim our own forgotten power. We live in oh, such special times – that oh, maybe aren't so special after all. The spirits, the sages, the secret teachings of all ages: we turn to them for help, and find that there is no one to follow. For to follow any one for too long is to stray into distraction. To make progress, we seek always to see beyond the next bend, to what remains hidden. And yet no progress is possible, all paths appear dead ends. Is there any hope of spiritual gain? Must we first abandon hope?

I will tell you what I know. I know that I am here, now. And, if there is any logic to the universe, I have a point of origin from which I emanate as my seeming self in time and space. By the power of divine will, by choice, by belief, and by agreement is this world made solid around me. I know that this is not my home, but that I chose to be here, to experience this incredible, immersive game in the most potent way possible. And so I appear to be contained, restrained, repressed, weakened, limited, blinded, maimed, diseased, trapped, confused, deceived, in pain, in need, and utterly, utterly lost. And yet... I am here, now. I am inside the illusion, far from home... and yet, home is where I am already, in that eternal state from whose bland absolutity I escaped by coming here to play. I know that even that scenario is just another story in a creation full of story. But it suits me at this moment.

What else is there but all that is?

I've heard it said, for what it's worth, that the truth won't set you free. First it'll piss you off, and then you'll realize that you were free all along. Make of that what you will.

I know that if I only knew, I'd know that I was free. And sometimes I feel it, like the fleeting touch of a distant memory. Freedom. And yet it is always there, just waiting to fill my awareness if I but choose to let it in.

This is the story of all stories. Choose yours with care, or have it chosen for you. Either way, it's your adventure. And at the end of it, should you choose to make an end, you'll find yourself back home and realize that you never even left. So, might as well make the most of it. Tell yourself a story worth the telling.

Observe what is. Let the chatter and the motion go on as it will. Don't force the stillness. It's there, behind the noise. Like a screen, it shows the movie, and may appear to be the movie if you forget yourself, become hypnotized by the moving picture, the appearance of reality. But if you focus on the screen itself, you may begin to feel the impression of looking into a mirror. Two eyes looking out at two eyes looking back in. Who is this presence? It is yourself. It is pure awareness. It is the only eternal thing; all else is projection, flickering by, frame by infinitesimal frame, each seemingly created and destroyed in turn, yet so fast as to appear continuous. This is the flow of time, which doesn't really flow, because it doesn't really exist, except as a subjective, illusory experience. A dream. Because, after all, what else is there for an infinite, singular awareness to do?

Spirit and matter. Creator and created. We are the confluence of both. Through countless aeons of time, matter organizes itself according to the patterns suggested by Spirit, imprinted upon the aether as spiraling forms of purest, subtlest energy. On the molecular level, a miraculous thing occurs: the omnipresent Spirit retreats almost entirely from view. Matter seems ruled by raw mechanics, blind forces, a chaoarchy of chance and determinism. But the first simple forms of life evolve spontaneously, ubiquitously, wherever a suitable mix of ingredients is present and the conditions allow for it. And so begins the wondrous progression of complexity, from cell to multicell, until entire planets are covered with richly woven tapestries of life, ecosystems interwebbed in a gloriously dynamic order. The underlying patterns of energy inspire an endless variety of forms, periodically transforming as the frequency turns up in quantum shifts that emanate from the hot galactic centers.

We are the next step. The group souls of the animal kingdom, defined at the level of species, begin to differentiate into individual souls, capable of self-reflection. A humanoid form arises. Now begins the most challenging phase, as consciousness bridges the gap from instinctive animal behaviour through to peaceful, space-faring culture. There are other options, too, for those so inclined: realms above and below this plane, reachable after many lifetimes of work at those times when the veil dividing them is briefly parted. It is here, however, that we are able to experience the forces of both heaven and hell in equal measure, according to our choice. In this crucible is forged, from the base material of primitive man, a purer being.




Spirit awakens from its dormancy and becomes a living spark. That flame of the heart, the most noble part of man, guides, enlightens, and sanctifies his being. It will teach him of courage, and beauty, and love, with endless patience so long as it still burns. If he will heed its tutelage, the way will be opened before him and he will walk through the shadows in its flickering light.

Monsters and shades of monsters will threaten. The worst of them will come from within. But no matter how fearsome they may be, they will never be able to destroy the one who guards that precious light in her bosom, though they kill the flesh and feed on the very soul. Many battles will be lost ere the first is won, yet in time the victories will come more easily – or would, but for the ancient law of the worthy adversary and the burden equal to one's strength. All is arranged with a distinct purpose ordained by Spirit, all for the incremental progress of the soul on its chosen path of experience.

And so we come to the crisis point, a time of epic potential. Evils are unleashed that were previously unimaginable. For it is only under the uttermost existential threat that the portion of Spirit that sleeps the deepest may be persuaded to rise up and be counted. But when it does, when the awakening in its fullness at last unfolds, there is no limit to what is possible. From there we go on to a new phase and a new dawn, in which a global humanity, now reunited with its brothers and sisters from afar, begins its incredible journey into the great expansive frontier of the stars.

You know, I always thought "the Ultimate Answer to the Ultimate Question, of Life, the Universe, and Everything," being equal to "42" was a bit of a copout on Douglas Adams' part. Like, don't you think a smart guy like him would be able to come up with something a little more profound? Oh, I knew it was a joke, but I just didn't really get it. I guess he was pretty well on the right track, if you're able to read between the lines. See, we start with an advanced civilization questioning the very root meaning of existence, looking for an answer that would satisfy the age-old enquiry, "Why are we here?" And they were smart enough to build a computer that could calculate that answer for them. For all the good it did, they might as well have spent those resources calculating pi = 3.14... to the gajillionth decimal place, when any idiot knows that that's nothing but a circle. Maybe life is a circle, maybe it's a spiral, maybe it's a whole bunch of things, but the point is this: when you're done explaining it to yourself, you can move past the question and just live it like you would have, had the question never occurred to you in the first place. I know that's unfair and not really what I mean, but seriously, maybe the Question actually is the Answer in a different form, like "What is it? It is what it is." So life is its own Question and its own Answer, and maybe the point is to just explore everything it has to offer and to one day maybe stop pretending we don't know what this is all about. Where we came from and where we're going... it's the same thing. And if that's so, then everything really is OK and there's nothing in this universe to be afraid of. All those things we think are really scary and bad, what are they but stuff we dreamed up to tell ourselves that it's not what it really was all along, the perfect expression of an eternally loving God?