Video: Know Thyself

From Bernhard Guenther, based on his article of the same name.

This life ain't worth living (without it)

From time to time, I get a taste of what life is meant to be like. An exercise in joy. This almost invariably goes hand in hand with a viscerally felt connection to something far greater than my individual existence. This ineffable something seems to have a hand in everything that goes on, which I've always believed on some level, and particularly when it actively makes itself known, or when I devote a moment, or more than a moment, to reflect upon it. More and more, when I'm not distracted by trivia, my thoughts revolve around this whatever-it-is that hides behind all that can be seen. I long to live in unceasing communication with it, to feel its love at all times, to be guided by it in all that I do. Without it, I am unable to enjoy anything, initiate anything meaningful, or approach a better way of being. Without it, I am a shadow of myself: impotent, despondent, irrelevant, barely alive except by the momentum of the grace that granted me life when I entered this world.

This ineffable presence is my father, mother, best friend, and lover. It's only when I am forgetful of it, or of my true relationship to it, that it appears distant and hard to reach. It is at once omnipresent in all things and the hardest thing in the world to commune with. It's the ultimate goal. All other accomplishments and desires lead only to more of the same, more striving after mirages that dissolve when touched, and more suffering without reward. They lead only to a deepening realization that there is something else beyond all these things, something that lasts, satisfies, and will not disappoint. That imbues all these other things with meaning, but only once we have grasped it first.

It is the mover and the shaker. The motivating, animating, enlightening force, and the force that draws all creation back to itself through the process of awakening, the long, slow dawn of gnosis toward a lucid, empowered, and unified existence.

My own path toward this whatever-it-is (for all paths lead to the same destination, as all rivers flow to one ocean) seems an odd one. It is at odds with the usual way of things as I've seen it in other human beings. Backward. While others seem to be going in a logical progression, A to B to C, I seem to have covered B and C without ever having mastered A. And so it would follow that I don't really have B or C down either, not without the firm foundation of the most basic level. It is hard to function in a physical world in a time of darkness without that strong egoic sense of “I” that draws boundaries and pursues its own self-interest. It is through this game of “I” that most souls, perhaps, are able to individuate and build an identity and a will strong enough to move forward through adversity, to carve out a niche and make a living in a competitive environment.

I am missing the point. Happens a lot, I might add. The point is that all the circumstances and personal challenges of my life are specifically suited to the lessons I need to learn. It's useless to get caught up in bemoaning one's unique fate – all fates are unique. I should really consider myself lucky to have such a clear sight of the bigger things, and a set of challenges that do seem to be tailor-made for a personality like mine to make the best potential progress in these exact times. The challenge of how to get through my day, how to perform the basic functions of life, are geared in my case inexorably toward seeking and connecting with the divine. And from my experience, when those challenges are successfully met, there is always the next bigger thing to tackle, and always with the same purpose, to embody more and more the qualities of that source of all ability and insight and compassion.

Greetings, and much gratitude, to that eternal essence and the giver of all good gifts. And may you, dear reader, be helped and driven to draw ever nearer to the source of your most enduring happiness.

It Lives

Turns out my laptop was only temporarily dead. (shock.gif, dismay.jpg) Well, it was only a matter of time before my new-found peace in the home was disturbed once more by the renewed presence of this piece of technology and the world that it brings with it. The real challenge begins now: how to coexist with this most perfectly adapted waster of time and energy, this portal into cyberspace. Being without it for only a couple of days has been a wonderful experience. It was a chance to see life very differently: as it is all around me, full of potential for so much more than sitting in front of a glowing screen trying to live without living, without really being present, connections only virtual. I've been freed from all that to do the things I really want and need to do. To live consciously moment to moment, responding to the immediacy of life with integrity.

In these days, I have repeatedly heard the phrase “Know what you're doing.” Being conscious of what one is doing, how it's done, and why, is so important.

to nature.
to yourself.

A time to sow, and a time to reap.
A time to wake, and a time to sleep.

Looking in the mirror...
Now is a time to step up and BE who you are. No more compromises and half-truths, no more going along with anything that's not in line with soul purpose. Your life is yours to live. If it's worth living, then it's worth living well. Hold yourself to your standards, and let go the failures of the past. BE HONEST.

Spring and a new beginning. A new beginning every day, as often as it's needed.

Mother Nature, Gaia-Sophia, calls her child to renew his remembrance of her in all that he does. To call upon her in every need, to give thanks for all that she so abundantly provides. She is now in full possession of her faculties, and offers to her child the opportunity to grow with her in this end-time of great upheaval, completion and transformation. There is still time to sow, there is no better time to invest one's labour in the things that truly matter. The harvest will come, and it will reap the fruits of all that has been sown, for joy and for suffering, for destruction and for new beginnings. and peace..

A little death is good

Technical issues: my laptop just DIED. Won't boot, at all. So, unless and until I get it fixed, if I'm going to continue with my writings, I'll be doing it the low-tech way.

Good news: focus and clarity come so much easier without the constant stream of digitally mediated reality. I am able to cultivate a much more spiritually connected way of being, free from my greatest source of distraction. Healing, meditation, and prayer move in naturally to fill a simplified existence with the strength and gnosis that come with presence and awareness.

Goddess-seeker's song

under cover of night
the hidden power of She
whispers its promises to me
of Life and Joy beyond all bounds
where She and I are One
eternally connected
with our multiverse of parts
plugged in at every point
pulsing twenty trillion times a second
with the raw energy of procreation
our intercourse, the engine of existence
that always was and always will be
only now forgotten, for a time
for the sake of the ever-new delight
of self-discovery
through trial and error
the arduous path of separation
that leads at last to our fulfillment
in the great reunion
so much the sweeter for the struggle
the weary slog of battle in the fog
that precedes that clear eternal dawn
time and time again
for the one who has descended
and the one who stayed divine
who never were but One
the blessed, timeless Whole of Love