Limits of an Infinite Self

I'm not a fan of the vampire genre. It's one of those things that exists to show us something behind the scenes of mundane reality, as metaphor. Watching movies and TV shows that revel in the thirst for blood probably won't be healthy for a person's consciousness over time, since we do tend to become like that with which we occupy our minds. Entrainment.

A friend noted, when this topic came up yesterday, that there seems to be a heavily sexual connotation with vampirism. I agree, and it goes beyond just Hollywood's artificial glaze of oversexed glamour. Blood is synonymous with the life-force, and sex is the power to create new life. The sexual force is the most intoxicating, intense form of the vital force. It is, I dare say, its very source. That same energy flows in our blood as long as we live, feeding us, and to those who have developed a taste for it, it is delicious beyond compare.

A true vampire is one who survives by stealing the energy of others. A vampiric personality is one that feeds upon the emotional energetic investment (attention, adulation, anger, fear, devotion) of others, in order to fuel itself. Why? Because the being has lost (or forgotten) its own inner connection to the Source of life. Its inner Sun has gone dark, becoming a black hole instead of a fountain of light.

The lesson of the vampire genre, for me, has been, “don't go there, don't be that, don't play that game, ever, if you can see it.” We all have the potential for vampiric behaviour. What it is, is a natural process unbalanced to the point of being turned upside down. Souls in their natural state act in reciprocity: joyfully giving, gladly receiving. When fear and insecurity enter the picture, this process goes into disharmony. And at the extreme end are rape and pillage, slaughter and slavery, with the predators taking what they can by force and deception, and the prey being totally subjugated. This is an image of Hell. And as we know, it has been with us on this planet for so long that some of us don't even question it, let alone challenge it. This resignation to “the way things are” is basically a personal vote for more of the same, that, I suspect, universe will oblige. Unless, of course, there is something radically different about these times that I'm not aware of. The divine is all-powerful... but it acts through individual souls... and the Earth is a planetary soul....



Steal not the energies of thy neighbour, but help her to free her inner Sun from its bonds, and strive to do the same for thyself, that you may both be happy and live forever.

I can't do it. I can't go through with what I've thought I was going to do for the past six months. I've dreamed of going solo into the unknown, to put my faith and my wits to the ultimate test by leaving everything behind and throwing myself into the extreme situation of being alone and far from home without any place in the world to call my own. But I can't do it.

My mind is a disaster. It's a war zone. Now I find that I have no choice but to admit defeat in a war that I thought was something other than it was. Thank you, my raging intellect, for going so far beyond the bounds of what was necessary and good for me that you've brought me to this impossibly untenable position between what the world around me appears to know, and what I think I know. It's time to surrender and say, I just don't know. I daresay neither does anyone else, but goddammit, they've got the world on their side. I'm just a kid with delusions of whatever. I've lost my faith in all of that. Not in what's real - I still think God is the only reality - but in all this crap I've picked up and filled my brain with, and for what - to feel special? I'm not special. If I'd accepted my own limitations from the start and stuck to what I could actually know from my own experience instead of relying on all this outside information with no direct relevance to my life - I wouldn't be in this situation. If I'd let all that "wider world out there" stuff be whatever it was and just kept it as a minor curiosity at the most, I'd be fine. But I had to latch onto it, try to make sense of things that were too big for me, beyond my ability to assimilate into a healthy, workable view of reality. And now I find myself... just... lost. And deeply depressed. As if that weren't enough, I've also gone and laid waste to what foundation for a life I did have, materially, and been horribly unfair to those around me in the process. "Back to square one" doesn't quite describe it. More like square zero.

So now I've lost faith in both worlds: the one everyone else seems to live in, and the one I'd built up in my head. But the fact of the matter is that, at least for the moment, the former still has a standing structure. I'm not convinced that it'll hold for long, but it's all there is right now that I can actually see and stand on, if not put my trust in. I don't have the means to prepare in an outward sense for the collapse of this current social order. I look at the mainstream news media in this country, the way it keeps on keeping up the facade, quoting all these paid experts and professional liars, and I don't believe a word of it. Their job, whether they know it or not, is to keep the appearance going and prolong the game for as long as possible. The powers-that-be, on the level you don't see, are convinced that it's all coming down in a less distant future than you know, and their strategy is to milk the rest of us for as long as they can and when the time comes, to retreat into the impenetrable, well-stocked hidey-holes they've built for themselves at our expense over the last 30-40 years, to wait out the virtually-unsurvivable conditions expected for the surface of the planet. That's if the sources I got that from are for real - obviously, I make no guarantees. If such is the case, then I have no interest in engaging that scenario one way or another, except to point it out as a possibility and maybe throw an astral monkey wrench or two into the works, if I feel like it. Not that it'll be necessary, but it'd at least be a gesture of where I stand in relation to their hell-bound matrix of the unreal.

Who is this "them?" It's a whole bunch of "thems," of course, but from what I've been able to discern, they have a definite thread in common: they are in the business of the enslavement of humanity for selfish, senseless purposes, and the higher up the pyramid you look, the more depraved and inhuman they are. The peak cannot be seen, but the upper levels comprise the world's wealthiest white men and women (whose names will never be on a Forbes 500 list) - the top Zionist bankers and the innermost elite of the elites.

Their wealth is stolen in a thousand ways from the blood and sweat of the common people, whom they view as livestock ripe for the slaughter. They have had their way with the rest of us for a long time because most of us have been too ignorant and cowardly to make them stop, and the few who do speak out against them, they have silenced. They have engineered, financed, and profited from every revolution and every major war in modern time. Their tools are the World Bank, the IMF, and all the biggest banks, through whose blood-sucking debt schemes they keep the Third World nations in poverty and are steadily bringing the First World nations also to their knees via controlled demolition of the money economy. And if they control most of the world's wealth, which they do, then I should hardly have to spell out the architecture of worldly power that that wealth has bought them. It is all around us: in politics and legislation, of course; likewise religion, art, entertainment, education, medicine; the courts, the police and military forces; the food, water, and energy supplies; every aspect of human life.

But all this is only the outer manifestation of what is, at its core, the war for our minds and hearts. They can't touch us there, but they can set things up outwardly in such a way that most of us will, contrary to our divine nature, tend to play the part they intend for us: we become unthinking consumers of a ready-made culture, investing our efforts and emotions in the things that feed their agenda and their demonic masters' thirst for human fear and suffering. Their greatest pleasure is to so pervert our ways that we become like them: we forsake our divinity and join the morbid march of their cult of death.

From this perspective, perhaps, you may understand why I've found it so hard to make a place for myself in this society. I don't believe in the existing structure as any kind of sustainable foundation for the happy, healthy kind of life I desire for myself and those around me. I can't bring myself to play by the stinkin' rules. I'm an uppity slave, haha. Freedom? Dream on! Well, it was a nice dream while it lasted. Too bad I never made a workable plan to attain it. I realize now that freedom has a price. It's earned. I haven't earned mine. I'm not yet ready to claim it. It's that simple.

My heart is undefeated. I will play the game for a while longer, but only until I sense my time has arrived to step forward and play a different part, the part I feel I am destined for. As long as there is time on the clock, I will play the game. I have a life to rebuild, such as it is, and thank God for the resources at my disposal even within such a system as this. There is a sanity to it, if you don't dig too deep. :D

So I'll make use of what's here now in preparation for whatever is to come after. My primary concern is to learn a practical trade. Since I left high school eight years ago, I've only managed to hit dead end after dead end. I've never really had a clear idea what I wanted to do for a living. I have a better idea now, and the will to do what it takes to find out for sure what it is, get that education, and finally gain a useful skill set so that someday I'll be able to support not only myself, but my future children as well.

Running away was a pipe dream. There's no "away" to run to. Everything I need is right here. It's a tough pill to swallow, to admit that I've been on the wrong track all this time. Not that adventuring in itself is wrong - God forbid! - but I see now that I have not been in a position where I could do that and still be leading a responsible life too. And I think some kind of adventure may find me anyway, before all is said and done. No need to seek it out!

Sometimes the very hardest thing to do is exactly what a person must do. In my case, it's to humble myself down to my own size, bite the bullet, and play the game for as long as need be.

But I won't be singing their song while I do it. ;)

Everyone has their own idea of what's going on, where we are, how we got here, what we face in the future. There's a thread of apocalypticism that seems to crop up everywhere. That thread, especially as woven in the mass media, is often heavily tinged with fear and fantasy, based on vague or shallow understanding. It becomes easy to either dismiss such thoughtforms altogether and continue to imagine that everything will keep going on pretty much as it has been, or else to get all caught up in the smoke-and-mirrors funhouse version of Circus Apocalypticus. The Tunnel of Doom can be a compelling ride, and there's no end of terrifying and disturbing sights and sounds to keep that dark thrill of fear and despair churning inside. That's to be expected. We are, after all, in a realm of appearances. We each see our own subconscious shadows playing out on the screen, along with the beauty of our divine nature, in whatever measure is appropriate to our individual need and choice, moment by moment.

Objectively, nothing I say here matters a whit. Nor does it matter what I believe nor what anyone else believes. Nevertheless, here inside the fractal symphony of subjective experience, under the prime illusion of separation, each part has its own specific role to play. Regarding the need for self-expression, I recall these words from a song I learned in elementary school, the Rainbow Song:

Listen with your eyes
listen with your eyes
and sing everything you see.

I write, not because I believe it will make any difference, but because I am compelled and moved to do so by my innermost heart. At this moment, it's what I'm here to do. And so I do my best to let that innermost heart get a word in, through all the posturings and ramblings of my limited ego self.

I had a deep discussion with a friend yesterday about the economic crisis. Our views turned out to be pretty similar, although we had enough differences of opinion to make the conversation lively and interesting. His understanding at this time doesn't incorporate what could be called “conspiracy theory,” in that he doesn't see our debt-based monetary system as being inherently flawed to begin with, whereas I do. But all such conclusions are only tentative, subject to change in the presence of new information that would challenge us to see more. I voiced my understanding, in such part as I felt appropriate, but didn't turn it into a debate. There wasn't enough of a common background of information to be able to get into (what I see as) the more hidden, engineered aspects of the situation. I wasn't there to persuade him of my view, but rather to just share thoughts and have a mutually agreeable and enriching moment of human contact.

Our other major topic of discussion was one on which I've never even formed much of an opinion: the potential for an existential threat to humanity arising from the birth of an artificial intelligence beyond our capacity to control. To me, that subject has been more in the realm of thought-provoking science fiction than any plausible, actual future. To him, it is perhaps the gravest problem we face, given, of course, that something else doesn't come along first and render the question moot. In essence, the solution would be to prepare for that scenario in advance by somehow ensuring that if and when such an uncontrollable intelligence is born, it will be of such a nature as to allow for the (humanly tolerable) long-term survival of our species.

I've taken in enough science fiction to have a basic idea of the range of imagined future scenarios concerning humans vs. AI. Peaceful coexistence via hard-wired Laws for robots and a general ethical treatment towards them on the part of humans, as envisioned by Asimov, seems to me perhaps a little premature and idealistic, given the sad state of the human psyche and the unpredictability of self-directed evolution. Based on our historical record, the vision of the Terminator films would seem more realistic. But both of these scenarios presuppose the development of AI continuing forward from the present day without interruption. So the more immediate hurdles, I would say, are the existential threat posed by unenlightened mankind to itself, and the very real possibility of cataclysmic Earth changes, abundantly prognosticated by modern science and prophesied by ancient traditions passed down from the survivors of the last global extinction-level event.

I'm a big fan of the Matrix films. They depict a human race struggling for freedom from the dominance of machine intelligence in a war that is not only physical, but essentially psychological and spiritual. To me, the Matrix story is less a probable future scenario than it is an allegorical tale about where we are now. The machines are an externalized manifestation of the egoic mind, which can never know God but is preoccupied with material things. This machine intelligence creates a virtual reality, a literal prison for humanity, in which the vast majority live out their lives unaware. As an enslaved human begins to awaken, this matrix reality appears increasingly “wrong,” and they question just how real it all is, what greater truth might lie beyond these appearances.

In the real world (grin), awakening is a multi-layered process. The exact route by which it happens is, of course, unique to each person. For many, the first layer is the manufactured and distorted version of reality portrayed by television and other forms of mass media. Entertainment on this lowest end of the spectrum is typically hypnotic, banal, debased, and void of higher meaning. At some point, it becomes clear that, at its root, this is all intentionally so. It's not just because these corporations cater to the lowest common denominator to make more money. Facts and questions that go outside a particular box are actively marginalized and suppressed.

As I write, right now, the time is 9:11 PM. I suppose I'll take that as a hint. (grin)

My friend is as yet unconvinced that the events of 9-11-2001 were brought about and/or facilitated by elements within the U.S. government and U.S. intelligence (although he doesn't deny the possibility). From the perspective of one who became convinced several years ago, I would say that that position stems mainly from a lack of awareness of the vast body of credible evidence, an unwillingness to believe that such evil could lurk so strongly in such high positions of power, or both. Of course, there is also the fear of being pejoratively labeled a “conspiracy nut,” but for anyone determined to find the truth, wherever the evidence may lead, that should be of no concern. Rest assured: despite what the corporate media would have us believe, being on the side of “9-11 truth” does not translate into being an extremist or a crazy person. I shouldn't have to say that, but there it is. The real problem, of course, is that once you accept a “Truther” version of 9-11, it opens up a Pandora's box of other shit. Shit that a lot of people just don't want to touch, no matter what. They would rather not know, because knowing would mean an end to the dream with which they are so comfortable, a dream into which certain harsh big-picture realities simply do not fit.

As always, the wisest position is the only one of which there can be certainty: “I don't know.” Everything we think we know is based on perception, and our perception is, by its nature, limited. Despite what I've said here about awakening, I don't consider myself to be awake at all. I am still dreaming, just like everyone else here, although less deeply than some. All that means is that I'm standing in a different place, somewhere between the crowded center and the rarefied outermost fringes of our collective reality. I like it here. I'm in good company. But it would be terribly boring if everybody were in the same place. Regardless of where we are in relation to each other, we can interact and become the richer for it. We're all teachers, and we're all students.

Anyway, that's all incidental to the real truth, which is... we're not separate. It only seems like we are, because that's the only way we can do what we're here to do, and that's... to learn about love. To really learn, we had to step into an illusion where love is not absolute and unconditional, where we suffer and die and long for what we seemingly lost when the universe began. Our journey here is not in vain. It is part of a Great Work in progress. By our choices, we can either prolong or hasten that Great Work in ourselves. We cling to our illusions as long as we can, but little by little they fall away. Our vision expands and brightens. We experience love in all its forms, including all the manifestations of its absence and distortion. And at the end, we are all reunited with the essence from which we came and which attracts all things back unto itself for the glorious, unimaginably grand after-party of all Time.

But to answer the question... hell, I don't know. You're asking me???

In this life, certain things can be laughed at and other things are deadly serious. Those other things can kill you, and worse.

If you believe that, then welcome to Penitentiary Planet Earth, third rock from the Sun and home of seven billion (and soon to be a lot fewer) pitiful little creatures who once enjoyed the pleasure of being free human souls. Ha ha ha ha ha!

Of course, if you knew the truth, you would be laughing at me instead of the other way round. Because that's how it is.

There are laws and then there are laws. Lower creatures are subject to lower laws, and higher creatures are bound by a higher set of laws. You know there are people who get away with murder, right? I mean, take a look. It's almost like the more deaths you're responsible for, the more untouchable you are – provided, of course, that you're also rolling in the cashola. The material god of this world is on the side of those with the greatest amount of dough, baby. So how surprising is it that the wealthy few are now Extremely F---ing Wealthy, to the tune of billions in digital currencies and billions more in real assets, while some 95% of the world lives in perpetual debt slavery? Pretty good deal for the moneybags. When you practically own the planet, the world's your oyster. Excuse me while I puke from the sheer awesomeness of the situation. Didn't taste like oyster, though, I'll admit.

Where was I? Yes, these self-proclaimed elite world leaders. The ones who you see (or don't see, thanks to our ever-so-vigilant public eyes in the media) attending such fancy clubs as the Bilderberg Group, the Trilateral Commission, and the Council on Foreign Relations. But not so much them, of course, as the ones holding their (purse) strings. In any event, for the sake of convenience, let's treat them all as one big happy psychopathic family. Where a smile means anything but and loyalty comes from a deep pocket and a big, big gun. Mutually assured pathology is such a beautiful thing.

The real beauty of this arrangement is that nothing is as it appears to be. To the unawakened masses (who are a conspicuously dwindling lot these days), these lizard-tongued phonies and their little crooked cronies are indistinguishable from the fictitious roles they play for the benefit of the brainwashed-from-birth bozos who believe whatever the babbling boob box tells them. Fortunately for you and me, my friend, things are not as they might appear to us either. If you've followed any of the alternative news sites on the web, you know (or at least, I'm telling you now) what a sorry sack of pungent manure they carry. The truth, they call it. Well, I call it fertilizer for the brain. What these conveyors of information (and varying amounts of disinformation, don't forget) fail to perceive is up to you and me, the discerning readers, to fill in. Not everyone is a compulsive fact-checker or info-miner, and you don't need to be those things to break through to the essential truth. Which is... what? Well, hang on.

Let's go back to the notion of law. As you may perhaps suspect by now, the lying murderers and child-molesters at the top of the worldly pyramid are not operating under the same set of laws as you and me. On the surface of it, they make the laws and break them as they please, while we are subject to an increasingly arbitrary and bewildering system built on books full of arcane legal language and intimidation both physical and psychological. The list of dos and don'ts in our modern society is truly a wonder of intergenerational programming. They do it to us and we finish the job for them. The scientific dictatorship, as imagined by Orwell and predicted by many others, with its veneer of rational ideology, institutionalized mass murder and theft, and false promises of security and prosperity, now constitutes our everyday reality. Or so it would appear.

What it comes down to, is this: who's got the power? If you think it's them, well, I guess you're right. Better stock up on ammo and food, then, and hope everything goes your way when the shit hits the fan. But that's a choice you make. In my reality, these clowns have no power whatsoever, beyond the ephemeral power of the illusions they create in your mind. You see, they are absolutely dependent upon you not realizing that there are in fact much higher laws than the ones they use to control you, and that by raising your level of awareness, you in fact begin to operate above and beyond those cleverly imposed restrictions.

The law of those who seek to control humanity is a cruel one. The human parasites are themselves fed upon by parasites of a higher order, and anyone who takes the path of deceit and betrayal will inevitably be deceived and betrayed in turn. A system of control is an unstable thing in the natural world. It can survive only by consuming, threatening, and lying, and these activities have finite limits, which, when attained, result in the collapse of the system. By contrast, the dictum of live and let live, certainly preferable to the aforementioned law, is unlimited in practice. Love, freedom, and creativity act to expand the realm of possibility, and indeed, in so doing, will tend to expand themselves.

But let me speak of something else here that will hopefully clarify the issue on a deeper level. Not everyone will agree with my take on this, but it works very well for me.

What are we? If we are mere physical beings, then we are certainly doomed. Death follows birth, and this simple fact is one that the material mind most fears to accept. Is it fair to say that fear of death is the prime motivator of the egoic mind? We can say that this mind has evolved for the sole purpose of prolonging life and bettering the prospects of passing on one's genes for the continuation of the species. What other purpose could it have? And so the higher faculties and sensibilities of man are thus seen as adaptations for survival in an increasingly complex environment. This is the basic position of what we commonly call Science.

Religion counters this and offers release from the primal fear of death by which mankind is afflicted. It posits something invisible to the natural senses, some higher aspect to this being, and calls it the soul. The soul, it is said, cannot die. Unfortunately for us, however, little agreement is ever reached as to the specific nature of this soul, nor the way by which that soul might reach a more agreeable state than this thorny vale of tears, forever caught between heaven and hell. The best that religion can provide for this life is a moral code and a sense of meaning and direction, though its assurances be often unprovable.

Is there a way out of this conundrum? I speak for those who are less than fully satisfied with the dogmas of both Science and Religion as they are commonly presented. What are they missing? I would suggest that the answer has to do with a kind of truth that is beyond the reach of either of these modes as long as they cling to their preconceived limits. It is a truth that must be discovered personally by each one who seeks it. The true, hidden nature of ourselves – whatever that is – is the key.

Now. If that true, hidden nature is that we are the both the dreamer and the dreamed – and it's clear to me that we are – then the whole situation with these madmen who seemingly run the show here for their own pleasure and profit becomes a laugh. They are the fools! We are in charge! And I mean “we” as in the divine aspect of ourselves, naturally – the One. Hey, all we need to do is get in touch with that. Gosh, what a game-changer. Whoops! I guess all that fear and anxiety was for nothing. And that's handy, because it turns out that, besides being the main instrument of our oppression, fear was also the main sustenance of a host of unpleasant beings that populated the unseen portion of our planetary prison. By starving them, we now force them to move out. Perhaps they will feed on each other? Nom nom nom. Goodbye!

If I'm right, then what we're going to see in the run-up to the Big Crunch that's coming (and by that I mean the point at which all roads meet) is a lot of heavy drama and a lot of wild revelations coming out that these hopelessly deluded ruling-class sock puppets would have preferred to keep under wraps if they could have. Unfortunately for them, all that they do will only end up turning against them and they will make fools of themselves for all the world to see. This is because they really are actual sock puppets that think they can write the script when they don't even realize who owns the stage. The show itself is a cosmic morality play that reads like tragedy and comedy all at the same time.

Do you see the funny side? I hope you can, because I've seen it, and, well, it's nothing but a grand old hoot. It's one hell of a good time. Had me laughing so hard, it was a piece of heaven. You know what laughter is. It's the sound of a soul set free to fly.

Wishing you many laughs (and warm hugs too),
~william

Observe what is. Let the chatter and the motion go on as it will. Don't force the stillness. It's there, behind the noise. Like a screen, it shows the movie, and may appear to be the movie if you forget yourself, become hypnotized by the moving picture, the appearance of reality. But if you focus on the screen itself, you may begin to feel the impression of looking into a mirror. Two eyes looking out at two eyes looking back in. Who is this presence? It is yourself. It is pure awareness. It is the only eternal thing; all else is projection, flickering by, frame by infinitesimal frame, each seemingly created and destroyed in turn, yet so fast as to appear continuous. This is the flow of time, which doesn't really flow, because it doesn't really exist, except as a subjective, illusory experience. A dream. Because, after all, what else is there for an infinite, singular awareness to do?

Spirit and matter. Creator and created. We are the confluence of both. Through countless aeons of time, matter organizes itself according to the patterns suggested by Spirit, imprinted upon the aether as spiraling forms of purest, subtlest energy. On the molecular level, a miraculous thing occurs: the omnipresent Spirit retreats almost entirely from view. Matter seems ruled by raw mechanics, blind forces, a chaoarchy of chance and determinism. But the first simple forms of life evolve spontaneously, ubiquitously, wherever a suitable mix of ingredients is present and the conditions allow for it. And so begins the wondrous progression of complexity, from cell to multicell, until entire planets are covered with richly woven tapestries of life, ecosystems interwebbed in a gloriously dynamic order. The underlying patterns of energy inspire an endless variety of forms, periodically transforming as the frequency turns up in quantum shifts that emanate from the hot galactic centers.

We are the next step. The group souls of the animal kingdom, defined at the level of species, begin to differentiate into individual souls, capable of self-reflection. A humanoid form arises. Now begins the most challenging phase, as consciousness bridges the gap from instinctive animal behaviour through to peaceful, space-faring culture. There are other options, too, for those so inclined: realms above and below this plane, reachable after many lifetimes of work at those times when the veil dividing them is briefly parted. It is here, however, that we are able to experience the forces of both heaven and hell in equal measure, according to our choice. In this crucible is forged, from the base material of primitive man, a purer being.




Spirit awakens from its dormancy and becomes a living spark. That flame of the heart, the most noble part of man, guides, enlightens, and sanctifies his being. It will teach him of courage, and beauty, and love, with endless patience so long as it still burns. If he will heed its tutelage, the way will be opened before him and he will walk through the shadows in its flickering light.

Monsters and shades of monsters will threaten. The worst of them will come from within. But no matter how fearsome they may be, they will never be able to destroy the one who guards that precious light in her bosom, though they kill the flesh and feed on the very soul. Many battles will be lost ere the first is won, yet in time the victories will come more easily – or would, but for the ancient law of the worthy adversary and the burden equal to one's strength. All is arranged with a distinct purpose ordained by Spirit, all for the incremental progress of the soul on its chosen path of experience.

And so we come to the crisis point, a time of epic potential. Evils are unleashed that were previously unimaginable. For it is only under the uttermost existential threat that the portion of Spirit that sleeps the deepest may be persuaded to rise up and be counted. But when it does, when the awakening in its fullness at last unfolds, there is no limit to what is possible. From there we go on to a new phase and a new dawn, in which a global humanity, now reunited with its brothers and sisters from afar, begins its incredible journey into the great expansive frontier of the stars.

(This is one of those entries where I supposedly talk about a person, maybe plug their work, and try to voice some sort of opinion. It's probably unnecessary, probably very ego-driven, and probably reflects a lot more on me than it does on the person in question. But here I am regardless, doing it again for whatever unfathomable reason. So just bear with me, I guess.)

Project Camelot (no, I'm not opening that can of worms today, fascinating as all the drama may be) recently published this interview with Laura Knight-Jadczyk, which, now that I've finally been able to watch it, has got to be one of my favourite Camelot interviews of all time. I suppose I'm a bit late to the party, since it's already been viewed over 33,000 times, but whatever. I highly recommend it. Camelot's version doesn't have the best video quality, but due to load times, it's the one I watched, and the quality ceased to be an issue for me once the interview hit its stride somewhere in the first hour. (Laura's own HD version is here, on Sott.net.)

So. Laura. Very interesting character with very interesting ideas. Genuine truth-seeker, I would say almost the epitome of the honest truth-seeker. Has had some nasty accusations thrown at her, which are plain ridiculous for the most part, being ad-hominem and not based on much other than a desire to take her down. On the other hand, there is room for legitimate criticism, stemming from differences in perspective or from mistakes she may have made as a fallible human being with her own weaknesses. She has had to navigate some extremely difficult terrain, and I think she has probably had a hyper-dimensional target painted on her back ever since she started thinking she had something to share with the world, and even before then. That's just the way it is and I can't blame her at all for having the worldview that she does. In fact, I have to pretty much agree with her worldview, from certain perspectives, although I don't always take those perspectives. In any case, the information she has brought to the table through her research and her work with the Cassiopaeans is truly important, in my opinion, and really helps explain so much that might otherwise be less clear.

I don't know if there's that much more to say. Her work speaks for itself. If you're interested in the nature of our reality as it appears beyond the veil of lies and deception promoted by the powers that be, and you've already covered the basics through other sources, do check it out and judge for yourself. (Personally, I found myself drawn to The Wave series especially.)

I alluded last time to my commitment to a spiritual path. In my bright-eyed enthusiasm, I neglected to mention the dark side of that coin, which, appropriately enough, now shines upon my life in its turn.

This world is a proving ground. Earthly existence is defined by tension and struggle between opposing forces. On the one hand, the human spirit desires to be free and to experience oneness and unconditional love; on the other hand, it is seduced into bondage, separation, and fear by all the myriad illusions of this world. It is our moment-to-moment freewill choice that decides which influence will win out.

Last week, prior to my trip to Model Expo in Helsinki to display a few of my Lego creations to the public, I was very much of two minds as to the task ahead of me, which is to let go of that material pursuit which has so consumed my artistic impulses for most of my life (not to mention a considerable amount of money). I figured that the exhibition would clarify the matter in my mind and bring me to a place where that letting go would be easier. In essence, I wished for my passion for turning ABS molded bricks into my original creations (MOCs) to burn itself out - a burnout that I've been trying to induce for months already. On some level, that notion did come true. I do feel more able to quit the hobby and sell off my collection than before. Doesn't mean the thought of it doesn't still cause me some amount of pain, but the way has opened up before me to the point where concrete action is feasible.

There's a lot more plot and drama to this story, but I'll try to pare it down to the most relevant bits here.

I was told, in a Tarot reading, that I would be going through an energetic battle (8 of Swords). That seems to be coming true already, although it may be that the real thing is yet to come. But judging from my dreams last night, and the way I've been feeling... yes, this is very much a battle of opposing energies. And it's one that I've been losing quite badly so far. Through emotional heaviness and negative thought patterns, I've found myself succumbing to confusion, powerlessness, and victimhood.

One of my dreams last night showed a small, reptilian demon acting like a harmless, cute little puppy that just needed someone to open a sealed packet of food for it. The girl's sympathy and compassion were winning out over her better judgment... next thing I saw was the same demon, ten times larger, swallowing a man's arm while its friend went for his other arm.

Don't feed the demons.

I was also shown, prior to falling fully asleep, a vision of myself and my shadow self. My shadow self was just too strong, too cunning for me; no matter which way I turned or what I tried to do, he was there ahead of me, sabotaging, overturning, perverting, diverting everything I did so that it fed into his plans instead of my own. There was no way to win at this game. As difficult as it was, I knew I had to stop fighting him, stop resenting him, stop relying on my own strength and limited vision. I tried to quiet myself, find peace, connect with the One in whom there is no separation and no conflict, to realize that I and my shadow were of the same stuff, just different expressions. The true I was neither little-me nor shadow-me, and yet contained both. The key to ending the struggle was understanding, acceptance, forgiveness, release. I did not actually attain that at the time, but I knew it and I went for it.

I'm being tested. I've been warned about this by a lot of people who've walked the spiritual path. There's no free lunch, no pill to be perfect, and no one-size-fits-all solution. It's a process that has to play out for each person. A process of shedding all those endless layers of false self, revealing always another, slightly more realized image of the perfection at the center. Every experience, pleasant or unpleasant, is an opportunity for progress. It's all in the attitude with which you meet it. For best results, choose love. Choose faith. Hold fast and have courage.

The Divine can appear as a terrible, punishing schoolmaster, or as a gentle, supportive teacher. Both forms have the same goal and the same purpose, merely different approaches. Life as struggle; life as gift. Both equally valid ways of seeing, both necessary. One to be transcended, the other to be realized.

Namasté, my friend. All the best. See you at the destination. Back Home.

Bill Hicks, ladies and gentlemen. One of the most offensive comedians of all time. He also happens to have been one of the very, very best. How is that? Well... the fact that he saw through the manufactured bullshit that masquerades as “reality” and called it out for what it was. The fact that he was totally unafraid to be seen for what he was: nobody special, just a guy with a taste for vulgar jokes and a gift for telling them. He was more than that, of course. He was a man of uncompromising integrity, brutal honesty, deep humility... and he did what he did because he loved to do it. No other reason could have driven him.

Today I listened to a couple of songs by Rage Against the Machine (Wake Up and Calm Like a Bomb, from the Matrix soundtracks). I listened in a way that I'm just discovering how to do (although I've probably been doing it all along): such that my internal state of mind is at its own place of repose, while the music plays out around me. I could appreciate the soundwaves, the thoughts and emotions without getting attached to them myself. I don't know if or how this is a productive way to listen, but it appeals to me. It's a way that I can apply to any genre of music, even (and especially) music that is full of angst and rage and darkness. I don't have to go to the place where the music is coming from in my totality, just enough to appreciate it. It's enough to have been there myself at some point in the past. You might ask why I would do this. Why listen to music that's not in line with where I'm at in my innermost? That's a good question.

Part of the answer is that the world is not in line with where I'm at or where I'd like it to be at. That's something that I just have to make my peace with. Appreciating music that comes from a human being's experience of this tortured reality while also holding peace and unconditional love in my heart... it feels real. It feels like healing, somehow.

Bill Hicks had a lot to say about music and the music industry. He made no bones about his distaste for empty, mass-produced, ego-driven dreck. He ranted against banality and mediocrity. He also praised those artists who he saw as having done humanity a service through their music, who played from their hearts.

I listen to a lot of different genres of music. I've never become an expert or a connoisseur of any particular one. Rather, I simply listen to whatever I find that appeals to me. Imagine my surprise when I discovered this artist. Here is someone who plays a genre so apparently full of garbage (in my uneducated opinion) and yet comes across as a true artist with a genuine message. Ana Free is (to me) a diamond in the rough. Her music comes from her heart. And what a heart it is! Beautiful. Generous. True. - And she's pretty, to boot! (grin) Anyway, lest I sound like I'm advertising (ahem), she is what she is, her music is what it is. You may like it or you may not, it doesn't matter.

“Play from your heart.” That's all well and good for those with a talent for making music... what about the rest of us, like me? I think the answer is obvious enough: whatever your talents happen to be, use them to express what you feel, the things that matter, the things that inspire you. Don't be afraid of what people are going to think. Don't worry about whether it's got market value. Those things are distractions! They don't matter! What matters is that you believe in what you're doing. If you can find something you would do for free, without any hope of recognition from the world, just because it gives you joy and fulfillment... do it. Whatever you feel is your purpose for being here now, do it. You will know what that is, because it will come from deep inside you and the mere thought of doing it will fill you with energy.

Play well, yes... but more important than that is to play from your heart. And it's more than likely that it'll come to the same thing anyway.

Ana Free - Try (Live)

This is a good game. It's called "The Truth."
- Dimitri Moisevich in 2010: The Year We Make Contact (1984)



The search for truth is a game.

I don't think one could have made that statement so straightforwardly even a generation ago. Back in the seventies and eighties, it seems to me, before the world was hooked up to this thing called Internet, truth-seeking would have been an activity that pretty much had to be taken seriously. The truth-seekers of that time would have mostly been out there doing original, painstaking research in the real world. Most of them would have operated in near-isolation from one another, compared to the effortlessness of network-building and collaboration today. Getting one's work published was another hurdle. The readership would have been a very small, very marginal group, scattered, so to speak, on the intellectual fringes of society.

Forgive me if my imaginings reflect poorly the reality of that time; I wasn't there myself. What I can say from experience is that in this present time, information is so readily available to anyone with even a casual interest that the whole concept of “truth-seeking” has exploded far beyond the limits of yesterday. It doesn't have to be an all-consuming path of dedication to a particular field of inquiry, nor is it necessarily the hard-core consumption of fringe lore from stacks of rare books. Beyond these primary and secondary levels, a previously-minimal third level has opened up: the level of the casual truth-seeker. The net-surfing approach is now the arena of choice for many, including those who would not even describe what they are doing as “seeking truth.” What curious mind, in this online environment, has not come across the major memes of conspiracy fact, theory, disinfo, and delusion? These thought-viruses have replicated through the memestream, cross-breeding, mutating (and being engineered, too) along the way, until the entirety has become just another fact of life, a whole genre of mind-games available to the people alongside their other everyday pursuits. This is not to unduly trivialize any of it; it's just an observation.

Obviously, truth-seeking in general is much broader than just the areas most actively sequestered (and infiltrated) by the powers-that-be, such as parapolitics, black-project shenanigans, and the powers-behind-the-powers-that-be. Anyone who engages in this game for any length of time soon discovers how interrelated it all is across the entire scope of human life. It becomes apparent that the so-called “mainstream” consensus reality is really just a system of externally-imposed programs that are held together, perpetuated, and fed into by those who believe in them: a Matrix control system. It may not be as immediately apparent, however, just how vulnerable that system is.

The system is predicated on belief, but its greatest power lies in fear. Many people may not really believe in all of it, especially now since the lies are becoming more transparent with every passing day, but still go along with most of it. Take voting, for example. Most of us know (or at least strongly suspect) by now, from experience, that voting in elections doesn't really matter a whole lot. We know most politicians are pathological liars and opportunists. We've seen administration after administration come in with honeyed words and the hopes of a nation, only to go out with disgrace and broken promises. And always, no matter what parties are in power, the economy ends up worse than before, wars continue, civil liberties are eroded, and corporate interests trump the interests of the people. HELLO? Anyone see a pattern? This isn't working! And still we go to the polls on election day and feel a vague sense of satisfaction, as though we've done our duty as citizens of a proud democracy. What? We know that's not true. It's just rhetoric and bullshit to keep things running the way they have been. But the alternative would be to admit to ourselves that we are more than just voters, or consumers, or (let's just use the word) slaves, aka “hard-working taxpayers.” We are unique, sovereign human beings with the innate freedom to create whatever reality we collectively and individually choose. We fear that kind of freedom. The system wants us to fear it, to deny its existence, to willingly give it up in favour of a ready-made machine world with a ready-made place for us as replaceable little parts in a big machine. And lest we forget our place, we are constantly shown what happens to those who have no place, who were born to the wrong parents, who didn't work hard enough, who defied the system. We're taught to fear poverty and crime and terrorism. Fear the cops. Fear the conservative agenda. Fear the liberal agenda. Fear the Illuminati agenda. Fear the apocalypse. Fear for your own survival in a world that's hostile and demanding but that might just give you a few creature comforts to fill your inner void if you only play by the rules. And if all else fails, just tune into an endless stream of mind-numbing distraction. Yessir, it's great to be alive in this postmodern dystopian nightmare. Or....

... Is there something else? A truth that's more than just a virtual-reality game? Something real and intimate that might just be the key to the kingdom of heaven on earth?

If there is such a thing, isn't it worth seeking? I believe it is.

And maybe when we're done seeking, we'll realize that it was something we had all along.



I am another you
And you are another me.
Thank you, just for being you
And being a mirror for me.

I suppose I'll start by describing a dream I had last night. In point of fact, I did not dream it at night, because I actually slept from morning to evening, after staying up watching the SF anime classic Akira and the comedy classic Monty Python's The Meaning of Life on DVD, which may serve to provide a bit of context.

Essentially, the dream was about me being cajoled, enticed, tempted, and drawn into a state of total powerlessness. The process began in earnest when I found myself hypnotized by the soft, flickering bluish glow of a little LCD monitor that was showing a movie of some kind. That was the tipping point, when I slid into apathy toward the “real world” around me. Soon, through my lack of effective resistance to the reassuring but treacherous hypnotic suggestions of “agents” around me, I found myself lying on a sort of hospital bed that was more like an operating table in actual function. The sexy “nurses” projected the impression that they were there to help me, that they had only my best interest at heart, and that the best thing I could do was relax and let them do their job. By the time I realized that their true intentions were less than benevolent, it was too late. My muscles would no longer respond, due to some drug they'd injected in me. They began their work by taking samples, violating my body with their needles in a way that was simply humiliating. Mercifully, I lost consciousness. My last, dimly felt emotions before slipping away completely were outrage and resentment.

Oddly enough, those emotions came back to haunt me when I woke up and read my mail. Through simple incompetence more than any plausible ill will, the tax bureau is still operating as though I were an entrepreneur making a modest living off of my business, which has been officially defunct since September and only ever really existed on paper to begin with. In reality, I don't owe them a dime, but they still sent me invoices for hundreds of euros that I'm supposedly due to pay this year. Realistically, it's only a matter of a visit or two to the local tax office to clear it up, but the infuriating emotional impact of the letter came regardless of that fact. It doesn't help things that I'm already caught up in a more advanced stage of a similar, less easily resolved game with an evil, bloodsucking little company that managed to “sell” me a worthless, yet ridiculously expensive Google advertising package on the phone last summer before I even knew what the hell was up. The wheels of legal action in that case are already turning, and I really don't think there's anything I can do. I'm not equipped to defend myself against that sort of thing, and I suspect the law may well be on their side. So I suppose I'll see where that goes. I'd really like to see them just choke on their own vomit. It's not like they'll ever see the money. I'm more likely to receive a prison sentence, haha.

So the darkness is closing in, even as the days get longer up here in the north. The web of the matrix tightens. I made mention earlier of some plans I've been cooking up. I feel obligated on some level to make a disclosure, but I think it's too early to go into detail just yet. I have made my intentions known to some, though, and if the surveillance/intelligence complex is doing its job, then the data is already in its files. (conspiratorial wink)

I will say that by the time summer is in bloom, I intend to be off the grid and hopefully off the radar of officialdom. Worldly security and status hold very little allure for me, now less than ever. I do find myself caught, though, between the impulse to continue creating and displaying my whimsical little works of material configurations, and the impulse to drop everything, let go of my material attachments, and withdraw from the mainstream entirely. I do believe there is a middle road encompassing both, if I can only traverse it. I just need to figure out exactly how. I've got some ideas. Time will reveal the right course of action. I have already consulted the runes and the pendulum regarding the basic nature of what I'm set to go through, and I will probably make use of them and other modes of communication with higher self in the near future.

The dog poet is on something of a hiatus and that (or whatever invisible causes are behind that) is affecting my mood as well. His latest audio broadcast was, however, very comforting and very touching. He read some lovely poetry in there. I would recommend it to anyone.

Overwhelmingly, in my more conscious hours (there are times of relative oblivion too), my heart is crying out to the higher power that governs all things with ultimate perfection.

Help me to see. I want to see. Please show me more.

Lord, grant me strength.

How much longer will You allow evil to rampage unchecked in the world? How much longer? Until 2012? 2050? If it were up to me, Lord, I would start turning things around right now. I suppose you are too wise and perfect to think as I do. Evil will destroy itself eventually, though, won't it? When it has run its course, served its purpose in the dreaming of Your children.

Lord, take away from me that which is holding me back. Help me to subdue my petulant and demanding ego. No, not subdue: merely help it to see that it is not the one in charge, and that it has nothing to fear by releasing its desire to always be in control.

I know that I have a path to tread in this life. I chose it before I came here. However haltingly and imperfectly, I know that I am on it right now and have always been. Everything that comes into my life has a purpose. Help me to see it through the impartial eyes of divinity as the perfection that it is.

Thank You, Lord, for being with me. For guiding my every step, for protecting me, for comforting me. For testing me and trying me, though never more than I can bear. You provide for every need of my body and soul. Above all, You grant me freedom in every moment, to choose my own experience. I am Your child, and one day I will return to You and give you back all that I am, all that I have gained through all my millions and billions of years of existence.

Thank You.

(This dream didn't seem very important at first. But the more I recalled of it, the more I realized how significant it might be – for its entertainment value, if nothing else. The following story is 95% straight from the dream, as close as I can get it and still have a coherent text.)

~

Buddy and I are messing around in the school gym. No one's around, so like the kids we are, we open up the bleachers and start running up and down, making kiddish little jokes. All of a sudden, I get this strong premonition, as if the fire alarm were sounding, even though nothing can be physically heard: “Danger, danger! Look outside!”

I run out, up the corridor, and through the two sets of glass doors to get outside. I look up. There's a gigantic thing in the sky, coming down. At first it's just a bunch of glowing straight lines, but as it slowly makes its spinning descent, its form becomes more solid. It's a friggin' alien spacecraft, and it does not feel friendly at all.

Before the thing even lands, I'm making to run inside to warn everybody, 'cause I got this huge adrenaline rush, fight-or-flight, and everything in me screams FLIGHT. But there's already a cascade of bodies piling out of the doors. People are going out to meet this thing. All they've got is curiosity and excitement, no idea that they're walking straight into the monster's jaws. I'm screaming at them as I fight the current to get back inside, but nobody pays any attention. I'm just an annoyance to them.

I watch helplessly as the crowd makes its way up to the ship, which has now landed on the grass of the playing field and opened up its large bay doors. A ramp bridges the divide between ship and schoolyard, nice and level. There's some kind of really weird mind control going on, like a voice in your head, and it seems to affect everyone but me. The message is basically that everything we could ever want and need is on board, and we'll all be so much happier if we leave our old lives behind and go along with the ship. It stinks to high heaven and I don't believe any of it for a second.

But everyone else is going. So what can I do except tag along?

~

I'm on the ship. It's a lot bigger on the inside, more like a city than a building. Earth is gone, we're stuck in outer space somewhere. Anywhere. Nowhere.

I have to say, they've got a pretty good set-up here. It's the perfect prison. There are no guards, no bars. But the conditioning! It was all done in stages, but now everyone's used to it. The meaningless jobs that they slave at for most of the day. The rules and regulations covering every aspect of their lives. The ugly, crowded accommodations. The sterile, artificial food.

I go visit my friend. He's still his happy old self. He's one of the first to have voluntarily moved to the new living quarters: a grid of concrete cells sunk about a metre and a half into the floor. Oh, but you can still move around freely, visit your neighbours. It's not that bad, really. He digs into his meal ration, a new and improved option: what looks like bread crumbs (but probably isn't), mixed with a chemical cocktail of different powders for enhanced flavour and nutrition and performance, with a little oil to make it stick together and go down. He offers me a taste. It's really good, he says, beaming. I decline.

Next day, there's an announcement: no work today. Just fun and good times. They call it Entertainment Day. They have these, what, once a month, once a year? Always a surprise, and it's such fun that nobody complains. Wouldn't dream of it. Aren't they so awesome for giving us Entertainment Day? I watch as everyone crowds into the coliseum. Not into the stands; their place is in the arena. Oh yeah, here they come: the bat-winged terror babies. Are they monkeys or babies? Whatever they are, we're all terrified of them. They swarm us and strafe us and swoop down to scrape us. We all run around like headless chickens, screaming, hooting and hollering. The masters love it. And somehow, so does everyone else. They like being terrorized.

I'm not like the others. I've never succumbed to any of the masters' conditioning. Oh, but I keep forgetting: they've got their own special conditioning just for me. You see, I serve them too. It has to be that way. In return, I get some pretty good perks. But I'm not a willing servant. I hate them for what they've done to us all. In my heart, I swear I will see their rule ended.

I suppose I should be thankful they let me keep at least part of my mind. I never remember any of the stuff I do for them, and maybe that's their sick idea of mercy. I'm not really human anymore; I'm something more... and less. I can appear in physical form, like the rare times I visit my old friends, but mostly I stay ghostly. It's a lot easier to explore places and observe what's going on when you don't have to explain your presence.

There are two of them, a male and a female. I belong to him, so I don't see as much of her. In my mind, I call them the Archons. Everyone loves them. Supposedly. Yeah, Big Mommy and Big Daddy. Nobody suspects the truth about Mommy and Daddy Archon: that all we are to them, and to their real children, is a big family food factory. We are their food.

Mister Archon is a giant, a four-metre-tall, reddish humanoid with a pair of long, black horns on his head. I have a hard time remembering what Missus Archon looks like. I think she's rather similar, except bluish. She tends to the demon-babies most of the time. Her partner is in charge of us slaves, it seems. I can tell their union is one of expedience and barely-disguised dysfunction. They both have terrible tempers, and I suspect they hate each other, but on the surface, everything is okay.

I only have one trick up my sleeve when it comes to getting back at them. Sure, I can play little tricks, get them to go at each other, but that's too sneaky for my tastes. I want them to know it's me.

I grab Mister Archon by the horns.

When I do that, he's totally helpless. It's amazing. 'Cause normally, he's this huge, intimidating beast of a being, and those horns are like the dot on the 'i' of his incredible fearsomeness. But they're so long that if I grab on close to the ends, he can't even reach me. He's reduced to a flailing, stamping, wall-banging, totally out-of-control, impotent mess. And who can respect a guy that suddenly goes apeshit like that for no apparent reason? His wife doesn't, that's for sure.

Maybe she'll take over from him, lock him up so he'll stop being such a public embarrassment. I daresay she could do it; despite his braggadacio, she does seem to be the one wearing the pants. I don't know how the slaves are going to react, but she controls the monkey army for sure.

I don't know what else to do. I don't have a plan. I don't see much hope for a revolt, much less a successful one. Maybe I'm a fool. But what do I have to lose? My life? Hah. I'm a ghost already. Maybe some miracle will happen, deus ex machina comes to set things right. The probabilities don't favour us, but maybe the universe does. That's my only hope.

In the meantime, all I can do...

... is grab the devil by the horns.

UPDATE: As a follow-up to this blog, do take a look at psychegram's related post Get Ready... Here Come the New Patriots and the comment section there. His is a voice of greater experience than mine. For a more in-depth discussion on Alex Jones as possible COINTELPRO, I recommend the Signs of the Times article Celestial Esoteric Stuff and The Socio-Political Nitty Gritty. Thanks to psychegram for that link.



YouTube: Alex Jones in Waking Life

The above clip from Waking Life (2001) is hardly a balanced or complete look at Alex Jones, but it shows what he's about. While notorious for his bullhorn antics (and who could forget the Joker incident?), he is, I contend, far more than just another angry white man venting on the airwaves. He represents a large and growing current in America today: a clearer awareness of the realities of politics, economics, and the plight of the common man, which is spurring many to become active in standing up for their rights and liberties, holding their elected officials accountable, and reducing their dependence on the maybe-not-so-dependable-after-all grid.

Alex has been on the radio since the early '90s and has produced a number of virally successful documentary films. His Info Wars website is one of the most popular alternative news sites on the 'net. In the past, mainstream media outlets wouldn't have given him so much as a sarcastic mention, but oddly enough, he has now appeared more than once on FOX Television. This is less surprising when you factor in FOX's massive propaganda campaign against the new administration. They probably figured a popular critic of the powers-that-be like Alex would pull in views and boost their cause. Or they just wanted a face of the conspiracy fringe to snicker at. (I didn't watch those segments, so I don't know what went down.) In any case, the man's got balls. The FOX network is deep, deep enemy territory for him. He hasn't forgotten how different their tune was under Bush Jr. He knows their game: divide and conquer; good cop, bad cop; Eastasia, Westasia; Democrat, Republican. He doesn't play that, he exposes it for the fraud that it is.

But the question is, is Alex Jones himself controlled opposition, a COINTELPRO psy-op? In the often paranoia-fueled drama of the conspirasphere, any rising star is a target for accusations of “shill” and “Pied Piper.” While I suspect the majority of such attacks are simply ego hurt and fear bug making the rounds, the question should nevertheless be addressed seriously.

Alex Jones is often loud, often angry, sometimes even uncouth. Well, when you've got a message you believe in and you think is important for people to hear, you might want to be loud. Anger? Hell, I got angry when I first found about a lot of the things Alex talks about. They're outrageous and they need to be stopped. Anger is a powerful emotional energy that can and should be put to constructive uses. It is also negative, unhealthy in the long run, and should probably be avoided if possible. As for the occasional rudeness, there is no excuse for that – but then, I haven't seen him make any. At least he humbly apologized to David Icke for calling him a “turd in the punch bowl.” Any other rude remarks he's made that I'm aware of have been aimed at people who, quite frankly, deserve a lot worse than that. (Although I personally couldn't bear to see anyone burned at the stake, even a mass murderer.)

Getting past the man himself and his very human faults, there is the matter of his actual message. I'm of the opinion that his message is quite appropriate for his audience, which I would venture to say is made up of pretty average, everyday people. He's not “mainstream” perhaps quite yet, but is at least on the verge of becoming so. These are quite often people who are just becoming more aware, who have graduated from the Pablum world of CNNBCABCBSFOX, but who aren't necessarily into ufology, energy healing, the paranormal, divination, other occult subjects, or the deepest, darkest, most disturbing recesses of conspiracy research. A lot of them subscribe, at least nominally, to one of the major organized religions. Naturally, there are limits to how far out on the fringe he can go and still be relevant to a significant portion of the populace. The ones who are so inclined will go elsewhere to seek out the fruit that Alex doesn't offer. So I don't see a problem with the limited extent of his territory.

As for how he handles the territory he's got... hmmm. Let's take a look.

Alex Jones talks a lot about 9-11 truth. That's a key issue for people to understand. What he doesn't talk about so much is the Israeli component. From what I've read, the WTC attacks were essentially Mossad operations, aided and abetted by elements of American intel (CIA). Cheney and Bush were in on it, obviously, as was anyone within a certain circle of power and influence. Very cloak-and-dagger, all of it, compartmentalized in the extreme, as all these kinds of sensitive, major ops are. There are so many angles to it, and so much secrecy around that whole group of events, that no one person could ever unravel it all. Is Israel important? Sure it is. But thanks to AIPAC and all the rest of the Zionists embedded in the highest levels of Washington and the corporate media, you can't talk about it without being accused of anti-Semitism. (False label; Semites are the native peoples of the region, i.e. the Palestinians.) You can face serious consequences for that. Besides, it's rumoured that Alex Jones's wife is Jewish. So cut the guy some slack, eh? The main point is there, and it's well made: 9-11 was an inside job. (By the way, the thinly-veiled anti-Jewish sentiments on some of the sites linked by Rense, but not by Jones, make me sick.)

“Swine flu” and financial meltdown. Big topics. Scary topics. Alex gets credit for going after Big Pharma and their so-called “vaccine” (money grab for sure, likely also another Darwinian depopulation scheme), as well as the political aspect of this latest iteration of the problem-reaction-solution formula to impose ever greater control over the populace. His sites carry advertisements for immune supplements like vitamin D and colloidal silver products, which are, in my mind, a better alternative than any vaccine (although you do want be sure you're not getting ripped off, so always do your own research first). The economic crisis has also been front-and-center on Alex's broadcasts. He features guests like Congressman Dr. Ron Paul, who's making great strides in his campaign to audit the Fed, and G. Edward Griffin, currency expert and author of The Creature from Jekyll Island. Alex believes that the devaluation of the dollar is paving the way for a global currency as part of the elite's drive for a worldwide totalitarian state, which I would certainly see as being the intent of some of those people. I don't think they'll ever succeed. Alex's solution is for people to buy precious metals to protect their savings, and to prepare for a breakdown of the urban food supply. Both are prudent precautions to take, but are really based on a worst-case scenario where things do get that dire. Better safe than sorry, I guess. Personally, though, my sense is that I'm going through the worst of it right now, due more to my own stupidity than to the wider economic situation. I think both your health and your finances are, on a fundamental level, much more closely linked to your state of mind than to whatever's going on around you.

Which brings me to a point I want to make about Alex Jones. If you listen to his show, it will affect your mind. In the case of somebody just waking up from the old consumer dream of Santa Claus and no tomorrow, the show acts as a sort of remedial course in reality, a cold shower. For someone who's already “awake,” though, I think the undercurrent of fear and urgency is reason enough to mostly tune out. There comes a point when those states of mind become counterproductive. On the occasions that I tune in, it's mostly for the entertainment value, not so much for the (yes, important) information he brings to the table.

The man is sincere and passionate, he hasn't sold out to corporate interests, and I certainly don't think he's a conscious psy-op agent. There is the useful-idiot angle, whereby it could be argued that the elite allow him to expose them to a certain extent in order to lay the psychic groundwork for carrying out their plans, and to get people into the vibration of fear and negativity, so that they expect to be treated badly, continue to think in terms of “Us vs. Them,” and inflate their mental image of the world elite into something much more powerful than they actually are. That's the biggest danger, and it's just something to be aware of. We've got one Alex Jones already, and thank goodness he's doing the work that he does, but there's no reason to become a thought-clone of him. Not that he even encourages that; he's always telling his audience to check up on the facts for themselves, read the available documentation, convince themselves of the truth of what he's saying – or prove him wrong.

I used to think that if the world really was the way Alex Jones portrays it, we'd all be doomed. Now, I think even his reality tunnel has a tangible light at the end. This is a war, he says, and we've been getting our asses kicked for a long time, but as surely as day follows night, the tides are turning. He's not giving in, and neither should any of us. Let's have the COURAGE to DREAM of something A HUNDRED TIMES BETTER than what we've had, and the WILL to DO what it TAKES to MOVE ourselves and the planet from HERE... to THERE.

God bless.

The fact we must understand is that we are all sleeping.

Oh, we think we're awake. We know the difference between sleeping and waking. Sleep is when you drift off into dreamland and forget where and when you really are. While you're in the dream, you think it's real, but when you wake up, you realize it wasn't real, it was only a fantasy in your mind. Then you forget all the nonsensical dreamworld fantasies and get up and do all the real things you have to do all day, and in the evening you go back to sleep, and next morning you wake up and do it all again the next day. Or some variation of it all. It's the daily grind. You accept this. You have a role in life, in society, and you are content to fill it, whether you're a student or an employee or a small business owner or an unemployed. You may not be content with your life, but there are certain things you accept because they're just part of the way things are and the way they've always been done.

But what if something were to happen that shocked you out of this more or less willing acceptance of the way things seem to be? Something that challenged the very foundations of your understanding of the world? Then you would question that understanding, wouldn't you? You would seek to revise it to fit the new information.

What if, in the process of seeking satisfactory answers to these questions you couldn't ignore, you uncovered more new questions? And as you sought answers to those questions, you found still more questions? You would be led down a rabbit hole, wouldn't you? And where that path goes, nobody knows. But you're counting on it leading to the truth, because by now you're one of us: a seeker of truth.

Little do you know what you've let yourself in for! The path of the truth-seeker is fraught, fraught, fraught with traps and blocks and riddles and confusion. Also with a great many monstrous, frightening truths that you never saw and never would have wished to see. The deeper you go, the more you comprehend what a sham and deceit and half-truth is the picture of reality you once held. The institutions and the systems you once trusted with your money, your security, your life, even your eternal soul, all turn out to be the bars of a very, very craftily constructed prison. You realize that the planet you are on is a prison planet for human souls.

What is the way forward? This becomes the driving question. Can we defeat the guards and dismantle the prison, creating a more just, harmonious, and free world in its place? If so, how? And if not, then what? Do we wait for a saviour? Do we welcome and prepare for a chaotic armageddon and collapse of all systems, hoping to survive by our wits and our guts? Do we join the prison guards instead, hoping to be on the winning side? And most of all, what does it mean to escape, to win?

We see that it is all a grand chessboard, and we are the pawns. There are levels to reality beyond our ability to perceive, and it is from these higher levels that the game against us is being played, by forces unseen. As long as we are the pawns and they are the players, they will win. But now that we are aware we are being played, the game changes. We learn about their realm, and what manipulations they are capable of. What their motives are. What their tactics are. What rules they play by. And we begin to train ourselves to counter their moves. In addition to being truth-seekers, we now become spiritual warriors.

But we have not yet won. We are not yet awake.

If we had, if we were, we would not still be here.

The only way to win the game... is to stop playing it.

When we truly awaken, we will see it all for what it was: a dream that was only real in our minds.

That is the path of awakening.