loss to find

this trouble that I'm in
this wilderness of sin
a self-created hell
self-pity's gravity well

I'm not the man I was when I could fly
when universe conspired to keep me high
a freedom and euphoric sense of trust
undone by tripping through my tempting lust

I knew what that misstep would bring
but all I wanted was to taste the thing
that all the world assures us is the peak
the holy grail of pleasures we should seek

I wasn't able to appreciate
the treasure I already had
consumed by wanting phantom prize
I reached and to my grim surprise
found sweet it was, but like a flame
too hot and bright to be sustained
soon faded, leaving only cold
and ash, just as I had foretold

let not remembrance take regret
that this took place; it had to be
for learning, and for moving on
though pain it brings, it doesn't kill
this cup of grief has but one fill
the more I drink, and tears I cry
the clearer I become inside

I can't escape this truth you're showing
no matter how I flee the knowing
that this is life, what's done is done
there is no gain in hanging on
to guilt, obsessing overlong
just let it pass, go through and feel
don't judge, accept the pain as real
resulting from denying love
that shines within, rains from above
embraces wholly all around
and bears us like the very ground

it doesn't ask what we've accomplished
how good we've been, how much we've conquered
in ourselves or in the world
or any other blasted thing
it's timeless, unconditional
and that's the key to all desire
that sets us free, consumed by fire
released from chains of death and sex
the phoenix blackened resurrects
and rising up, beneath the horror
reveals its beauty, rainbow-coloured

I am a man, accursed with lies
confusion reigns until it dies
oh god I wish for light to see
and mother earth to humble me
before the grave I'll shed my fear
for love is with me - I am here.


    Very well done, a pleasure to read. Thank you for sharing brother.

    In Lak' ech, profit in truth live in love...


    Thank you, Chris. I'm so glad you're here.