Nothing to say, just this.

My intellect wants to take this post in six different directions. None of them works. The more thoughts my brain puts together, the less fruitful it seems for the needs of this moment. It might have something to do with this. With the fact that defining the world and the self is a function of ego which restricts the flow of endless potential that is the source of truest joy. To express that which is most true for oneself in the moment, is what puts one in the flow of life. At this moment I feel a warmth, a breeze blowing through my heart. It's a fragile thing in the midst of all the opposing tensions in my mind and body, but it is the center of truth. Knowing. Being. Accepting. Appreciating. Loving.

In my dream last night, I was walking along a trail through a sunny field of green grass. I was on my way somewhere else, but my mind was right where I was, in the moment, joyfully observing. As I walked, I passed a couple of girls riding a moped through the grass, and I felt how they shared a deep, unbreakable friendship. I saw a pair of lovers lying in the field, totally immersed in each other with such tenderness. I saw a mother with her newborn child, such a profound sense of joy and love, nurturing and trusting between them. There were others, too: a father and young child, a woman with her dog, students full of enthusiasm for learning and having fun. All the while I was floating with each step.

Then I arrived where I was going. It was a college campus, full of busy people rushing here and there with their schedules and deadlines and appointments and assignments, no time to notice and just be in the present, to connect with others in a real way. The atmosphere of control pushed down on my shoulders and I walked heavily, hunched over.

This is the contrast, I imagine, between feeling what is, as it is, and the efforts of the mind to lock onto what is and have it be something in particular according to one's need for control. One leads to effortless joy, the other removes joy.

It's OK to feel gloomy, cut off, depressed. Those feelings are real and valid in their own way and there is no point trying to deny them or artificially force oneself to cheer up and be happy. Accept the darkness. See into it, understand where it comes from. Allow the experience, but know that you are not the content of your experience. You are a being whose essence is beyond all definition. You need not trouble yourself with thoughts of "Who am I?" To ask is to deny what you already know: "I am." Everything else is just part of the game.

We are immersed in the game. We have forgotten who we are. And that is exactly as it was meant to be. Now and in the coming time, we have this opportunity, if we truly so desire, to awaken and expand to other levels of the game, or even, given a critical mass of harmoniously aligned intent, to affect the conditions of the one we're in.

What unites us? What is our common ground? Does that not far outweigh whatever might divide us?


    Something occurred to me recently while playing chess. When you sit down to play chess, you know it's just a game and doesn't ultimately matter. If you were to forget this, things could get very out of hand. You might lose all sense of proportion and cheat or physically assault your opponent, for example. You would miss the point and not really enjoy yourself.
    On the other hand, the game wouldn't be worth playing if you didn't play to win. If you just sat there making random, unplanned moves because, "It's just a game," you would also miss the point and not really enjoy yourself.
    Maximum fullfillment comes from holding both perspectives simultaneously instead of getting lost in either one.
    Just a thought. :-)


    Just so. :) Thanks.

    - I suppose "the game" is whatever we're striving for and going through in this life on a personal level. Then there's the wonderfully complex interplay of personal life games on the multiplayer level, which goes into the planetary level, galactic, universal, and so on... so many different goals, settings, rulesets... the possibilities are endless. We can choose to identify solely with the gamepiece and maximize suffering, or with the player behind it all and act arbitrarily without caring - and obviously the best choice is a balance of the two. :)