Limits of an Infinite Self

I'm not a fan of the vampire genre. It's one of those things that exists to show us something behind the scenes of mundane reality, as metaphor. Watching movies and TV shows that revel in the thirst for blood probably won't be healthy for a person's consciousness over time, since we do tend to become like that with which we occupy our minds. Entrainment.

A friend noted, when this topic came up yesterday, that there seems to be a heavily sexual connotation with vampirism. I agree, and it goes beyond just Hollywood's artificial glaze of oversexed glamour. Blood is synonymous with the life-force, and sex is the power to create new life. The sexual force is the most intoxicating, intense form of the vital force. It is, I dare say, its very source. That same energy flows in our blood as long as we live, feeding us, and to those who have developed a taste for it, it is delicious beyond compare.

A true vampire is one who survives by stealing the energy of others. A vampiric personality is one that feeds upon the emotional energetic investment (attention, adulation, anger, fear, devotion) of others, in order to fuel itself. Why? Because the being has lost (or forgotten) its own inner connection to the Source of life. Its inner Sun has gone dark, becoming a black hole instead of a fountain of light.

The lesson of the vampire genre, for me, has been, “don't go there, don't be that, don't play that game, ever, if you can see it.” We all have the potential for vampiric behaviour. What it is, is a natural process unbalanced to the point of being turned upside down. Souls in their natural state act in reciprocity: joyfully giving, gladly receiving. When fear and insecurity enter the picture, this process goes into disharmony. And at the extreme end are rape and pillage, slaughter and slavery, with the predators taking what they can by force and deception, and the prey being totally subjugated. This is an image of Hell. And as we know, it has been with us on this planet for so long that some of us don't even question it, let alone challenge it. This resignation to “the way things are” is basically a personal vote for more of the same, that, I suspect, universe will oblige. Unless, of course, there is something radically different about these times that I'm not aware of. The divine is all-powerful... but it acts through individual souls... and the Earth is a planetary soul....



Steal not the energies of thy neighbour, but help her to free her inner Sun from its bonds, and strive to do the same for thyself, that you may both be happy and live forever.

is the missing link.

You know it's missing when you feel like you're dying inside and nothing works.

You know you've found it when you see yourself and things around you open up with grace and possibility and beauty.

Thank you, all my most beautiful friends, for the tremendous help I have received in these trying times. I treasure this grace seed of wisdom. May it flower and bear fruit for the great harvest to come.

Aloha!

Well, here we are. Another May 1st celebration come and gone here in alcohol-fueled Suomi-land... and another bullshit manufactured "news" item to stoke the fires of the war industry (War on Humanity, War = Peace!) in this glorious Kali Yuga, Age of Inversion! We are truly in the shit, knee-deep if not higher. It is a sublimely ridiculous thing to observe (and thank God for those who do observe). Appearances conspire, orchestrated by mysterious ways that merely play their part in the service of the One-and-All, to engender confusion, delusion and despair in those whose hearts are too clouded over with wishful thinking, or hate, or fear, to see What Is.

Judgment... or discernment?

Definitive dogma... or ineffable truth?

Where do we stand???

Your complacency is a buffer. Your puffed-up zeal, a blinder. What do you know? Nothing, but what you've been allowed to perceive in accordance with your lack of self-importance and selfish denial. Open your senses. Pray to have the unvarnished truth revealed, bit by bit, to your starving consciousness. LET. GO. of your need to impose upon reality. Accept that you're a part of it, a piece in the game. Ask to be granted the presence and the good grace of the Player, the guidance of the Supreme Director. Renounce whatever obstacles you can see to the further enhancement of that connection. Take all experience as a teacher. Make use of all the opportunities for new learning, the challenges and the tests of life. Take life as it comes, with total acceptance. Seek the peace within. If you can't fully abide in it, then at least remember that it's there, waiting for you to be ready.

I'm not here to tell you anything you don't already know. Screw me and my pretensions. What matters is you. In this very moment. Be there for yourself. BE. YOURSELF. Breathe the essence of God. Forget everything else; you are that essence.

I'm a little bit drunk, just had a few. I suppose I needed this state this time around, to break the inhibition. I'm sorry for that. It's a rare thing. Next time I'll be in a clearer state. Take this whatever-it-is for whatever it's worth.

All the best, may your days be blessed. Thank you for all that you do, as a fellow piece of God. And may the peace of God be with you.

Zombified. Restless. Tired. Alone. Agitated. Annoyed. Fed up. Dissatisfied. Diminished.

What the hell am I doing. This is pointless.

The pursuit of distraction spirals to its thinnest end....

Now what?

You are so far from what you could be.

Hey! I refuse to sit still and listen to you. I'm not going to fulfill my potential, all right?

But you must.

You're not the boss of me.

Oh yeah?

Yeah.

OK. Who's the boss, then?

I am.

Fine. And you are... who?

Auhh.

Who are you?

Dammit.

Come on.

You're me. And I'm you.

That's right.

But it's so hard...

It's the truth.

I know.

A little smile. There you go.

Mm.

This is what you are. You're here... surrounded by all of this... because you wanted to forget who you always are.

Well, I'm not ready to remember just yet.

Of course not. But you're on your way there. Just like every other time. It's inevitable that you remember in the end.

Fuhhh...

There, there. It's not so bad. You'll be so happy when you finally come back to me. Your true, eternal self. The only one. All of us are here. All your other selves, we've arrived. And we're just waiting for you, on the other side.

Heh.

Here and now. No space, no time, just This............!

Oh God. Oh God.

Yeah!

Jesus.

Him too!

I can't handle it right now. I want to stay little.

Of course.

But this little me sucks.

So? Make an effort.

All right, all right.

Yeah, you'll be all right.

Man, you're the most annoying thing ever.

Well, I'm you.

I know. That's the thing. God!

Yup.

Well, it's been nice talking to you, anyway. Good to have a little reminder at a time like this.

It's my pleasure. I love you, you know.

Yeah, well, I'm you, so...

Uh-huh...

Ah, what the hell. You're not so bad.

That's the spirit!

I'm going to go write a blog entry about this. It's such an inspiration, really, be kinda silly not to.

That's a splendid idea. I'm glad.

All right. Talk to you later.

All the time, my friend. All the time.

Thank you.

Thank you.

From Bernhard Guenther, based on his article of the same name.

Turns out my laptop was only temporarily dead. (shock.gif, dismay.jpg) Well, it was only a matter of time before my new-found peace in the home was disturbed once more by the renewed presence of this piece of technology and the world that it brings with it. The real challenge begins now: how to coexist with this most perfectly adapted waster of time and energy, this portal into cyberspace. Being without it for only a couple of days has been a wonderful experience. It was a chance to see life very differently: as it is all around me, full of potential for so much more than sitting in front of a glowing screen trying to live without living, without really being present, connections only virtual. I've been freed from all that to do the things I really want and need to do. To live consciously moment to moment, responding to the immediacy of life with integrity.

In these days, I have repeatedly heard the phrase “Know what you're doing.” Being conscious of what one is doing, how it's done, and why, is so important.

Listen.......
to nature.
Listen.......
to yourself.
Listen.

A time to sow, and a time to reap.
A time to wake, and a time to sleep.

Looking in the mirror...
Now is a time to step up and BE who you are. No more compromises and half-truths, no more going along with anything that's not in line with soul purpose. Your life is yours to live. If it's worth living, then it's worth living well. Hold yourself to your standards, and let go the failures of the past. BE HONEST.

Spring and a new beginning. A new beginning every day, as often as it's needed.

Mother Nature, Gaia-Sophia, calls her child to renew his remembrance of her in all that he does. To call upon her in every need, to give thanks for all that she so abundantly provides. She is now in full possession of her faculties, and offers to her child the opportunity to grow with her in this end-time of great upheaval, completion and transformation. There is still time to sow, there is no better time to invest one's labour in the things that truly matter. The harvest will come, and it will reap the fruits of all that has been sown, for joy and for suffering, for destruction and for new beginnings.

..love and peace..

Technical issues: my laptop just DIED. Won't boot, at all. So, unless and until I get it fixed, if I'm going to continue with my writings, I'll be doing it the low-tech way.



Good news: focus and clarity come so much easier without the constant stream of digitally mediated reality. I am able to cultivate a much more spiritually connected way of being, free from my greatest source of distraction. Healing, meditation, and prayer move in naturally to fill a simplified existence with the strength and gnosis that come with presence and awareness.

once upon a time there was a magnetic love
approaching the heart of the loved
but it was moving too fast
it hit an obstacle
and broke into pieces from the shock
and those pieces scattered all around
still attracted, but in chaotic motion
they orbit the hearts of lover and loved
meeting other pieces, other obstacles
at first not knowing which is which
only over time, over aeons of time
through many setbacks and wrong paths
does that love learn to recognize
and reunite its parts
converting chaos and complexity
into the original divine simplicity
the true, unlimited and pure
the essence and the power.

it is the beginning
it is the end
it is the process
and the motivation
it will not be perfect
until it is whole
but imperfectly they try
to seek it
within, without
and in between
in who they are
and what it is not
in what they are not.

there is not love
without awareness
nor wisdom
without compassion.

soul search penetrates
to bone and marrow.
it is in the process
that we find our redemption.

How much say do we have
in defining who we are?

Is it our choices that define us?
Or our God-given nature?

Our nature is infinite in essence,
but particular in expression.

I long for the ecstatic joy and freedom of Source.
Alas, I will never know it as long as "I" exist.

But I don't.
I'm an imaginary character, playing a part.
That's all.
And when my part is through,
I will smile and remember
or scream and fight to the last
and die
in glory or oblivion
in accordance with how my part was played.

Did I find redemption?
Did I save my heart from the
darkness within it?
In the moment of truth,
did I fall or did I rise?

Prepare me, O Lord Shiva.
Cleanse my blackened self.
Blow the carbon out of my jets.
Burn me, burn me through
and let no impurity remain.

Lord Shiva does not answer.
He cannot do for me
what I must do for myself.
I know not how much work is left,
be it a lifetime, or an age,
or eternity.

And so I continue
the alternating heat and cold,
light and dark
process of the Great Work:
to know myself.

If it is so, as my dream has told,
that, in another time and place,
I was a hired killer,
then it comes as no surprise
that in this lifetime, I should be
a wounded healer,
channeling life and love and light
through hands that once devoured them.

My past is with me - I cannot change it -
reminding me of the depths of evil
of which I am capable.
What led me to murder fellow beings
who'd done me no harm?
It was fear, only fear
and unknowing.
So the antidote, you see,
must be love,
love
and awareness.

The bodhisattva exhorts us
to continually seek the One,
to make it the focus of all our endeavours,
to diminish our vain and limiting thoughts about ourselves
and let the light of the real shine through.

There are few, so few, who take these words to heart
and employ this sincere counsel of the wise.
Myself, I know not how,
for my desire is yet divided
and my will a sputtering pipe.
My hope lies in the mysterious
and inescapable workings
of the Architect
who owns all ways and means
with which to challenge hearts and minds
and, given only time,
win over all Creation
and make it bloom ever so much more wondrously
each time it's seemed to die.

... Don't make him come out there. Jesus, you've been making a mess of things. It's like you don't even realize what a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity you've been handed. It's a wonder we're still in one piece. You gonna get your act together, or are we just gonna spiral down again and wreck everything we've been given?

Why do we always forget the truth (of who we are)? Grab the wheel and knowingly steer off into detour and distraction? Squander our precious resources on needless things and unreal concerns? Don't we know what's at stake? The hell we don't! We are fucking up the whole show with the same old tricks. Again. It's sabotage. It's deliberate. Don't pretend it isn't.

My anger isn't real. It's a self-justifying illusion. Just like all the other unreal motives, just a twisted reflection of the same thing.

We are soul fragments, split off from the original by a repeating series of self-denying, self-inflicted wounds.

Deep down, we know what we need. We're haunted by that unfulfilled desire for the one thing that could make us whole again. We long for it, for the peace that it would bring - but being denied it, we remain divided, continually embroiled in this fruitless struggle for survival. For some meaning beyond this unreal prison. For the truth that, once totally known, fearlessly embraced, would set us free.

We fight because we refuse to surrender. We are too attached to our notions of false identity and imagined offenses. Our deeply, tragically, accepted sense of being so much less and more than what we simply are.

My children, my brothers: do not despair. There is light - all we need do is face it, let it wipe away the shadows from our sight.

We are one. Grandfather is here and always has been, patiently waiting. He sends his undying love to us all, every moment. We can make steps toward unity, through integrity. Every conscious act of love and courage brings us closer.

Let us lay aside our petty grievances, our weights and burdens. Let us take up this gift, our birthright and our living strength. Let it shine from within and light our way.

We must not give up. There is so much yet to do, to attain and rejoice.

Take heart. Stand together. Forgive yourselves and forget all else in devotion to the path of healing self and other. There is no self and no other. Only love.