Limits of an Infinite Self

Life is funny.

The conscious game changer for 11.11 was something I really felt was important. I looked past the slick media presentation, the fluffy new-age idealism, the pop bastardization of quantum physics and saw something worthwhile regardless. What I recognized as well, in part, but failed to resolve entirely, was the flaw in my own approach to participating. Namely, the fact that my desire to take part and have others join in was not purely of the Spirit, but carried a strong element of egoic fear under the surface. Fear of the unmitigated depths of hardship, loss, darkness, and uncertainty that appear to be in store as part of a collective awakening process. Desire to avoid the attendant pain and struggle as much as possible. Insofar as my motivation thus sprang from ego, the conscious game changer became an exercise in wishful thinking, tainted magic ritual, self-defeating. I didn't see this right away, but I was troubled and wondering what was wrong. Life being what it is, I was then guided to materials and experiences that helped me understand and remedy the problem.

Laura Knight-Jadczyk's article Truth, Lies, Reality served to remind me of a perspective I'd somehow lost touch with: that there is an objective reality (known in the mind of God) independent of what anyone personally believes, and that our human conscious ability to positively influence that reality through focused intent hinges in some way upon our ability to perceive and accept that reality as it is. This is, of course, a perspective that sheds light on the truth, and not the absolute Truth itself... (in my personal opinion... ^_^ )

Then I was looking for info on the Galactic Underworld of the Mayan calendar and came across this article on Joy and Fear. Another quite useful perspective.

Then I got a nice boost from the latest Smoking Mirrors and one comment in particular. Another comment linked me to Clif High's extraordinary essay Failing, falling, flying, fearlessness - for which he deserves at least three pieces of the most delicious pie!

In between there somewhere, I spent an evening in the company of some really wonderful friends, which, after a week of near-total solitude, transformed my ill ease of mind into full-flowered joy and peace that carried over and deepened through the night as I meditated and rested better than I had in quite some time.

Now this morning, I felt prompted to open a random page in Barefoot Doctor's Handbook for the Urban Warrior: A Spiritual Survival Guide. The insights I received from there on Focus, Worry, and Doubt were exactly what I needed. The Taoist philosophy and humour of Barefoot Doctor never fails to lighten the way...

There's more, but the short of it is that I was blessed with the wisdom of multiple perspectives from others and integrated them together with my own inner and outer experience into a harmonious and practically effortless way (Tao) through and out of the confusion and malaise I'd been in. All in a day's work. (For universe, mostly. Credit given where due, with many thanks.)

Happy Tipping Point!