Just keepin' it real, yo
Monday, October 14, 2013 by the BCth
Hello again, fellow
travellers! It’s been a while once again since I’ve opened up
this channel. Given the nature of the times – the flavour of the
karios, as Clif High would say – that’s no surprise. It pretty
much goes without saying that the intensity has not let up and shows
no sign of doing so. This is good news, if one is predisposed to
letting go, facing up, taking home the lessons that life brings. (Which, sadly for us human critters, is rarely the case, but most of us do those things eventually. Right? grin)
My troubles, your troubles, blither
blather, common ground established, let’s cut to the chase. It is
fascinating to observe, in the blogosphere and in the personal,
private realm, how the unconscious, mechanical nature of the
unbalanced, unhealed psyche reveals itself. Even the learnedest and
wisest are prone to very human flaws and weaknesses. There is not one
who can presume to claim a higher ground than another without
revealing some unrecognized, unintegrated aspect of the delusion of
separation still hanging on, distorting the image of reality in their
personal mirror of the mind.
I am but a wee-bairn beginner on the
path to wisdom, eyes barely opened, still very much a prisoner of my
entrenched false identity, the little-i. (I feel like it may help to
drop the capital “I,” at least mentally. This could be a useful
meditation for daily practice, to consciously remind oneself from
every angle that the personal-identity self that we call “me” or
“I” is simply a facet of the
One, one among a vast infinity of expressions of the divine that
surrounds us in every moment. The world, including all
dimensions beyond the five senses, is an integral whole. We are bit
players in a grand drama, each with our own uniquely individual yet
totally unexceptional part to play. The center of the universe
resides within each of us. See: fulcrum.)
I am personally very prone to absorbing
myself in the intellectual exercise of mental modeling, seeking the
mere outline of truth in the abstract. I don’t think it’s a bad
thing entirely, in fact it may be a fruitful avenue of progress.
First I consume information, seek out new perspectives, try to get a
feel for things in a rather haphazard manner. I try on ideas,
conceptualize them, feel them out, examine them for flaws, see how
they fit together with existing models and perspectives. This is all
done internally. I am much of the time tinkering with my own
understanding of the universe. Sometimes I come across expansive new
vistas to explore, or gain a deeper, richer level of understanding of
previously familiar territory. Of course, it goes beyond the
theoretical particularly (only) when there is something personally
experienced, that fills in the lines with colour and vibrancy.
Sometimes, the lines are sketched out first through this mental
effort, then gradually become real, tangible things as consciousness
draws them into experience through focus, practice, and even simple
resonance. “That which occupies
your mind, has a direct bearing upon what you become and where you
go.” I think Les Visible said something like that. He says a lot of
things that sound like they’re probably somehow true, and then one
day you’re like, “Ah-ha, so that’s what that means.”
I
know small minds talk about people, etc., but I want to broach the
subject of this person because he really has had a major impact on my
mental landscape for a number of years since I started following his
work, and I think there’s a certain profound lesson I am learning
through him. But not to be a pot calling the kettle black, I will put
myself as the subject of the illustration.
You
may get the idea, from reading my blog, that there is this guy out
there, really stellar guy, beautiful heart, beautiful mind, full of
great wisdom and warmth. I dunno, maybe I flatter myself unduly with
that, but for the sake of argument, let’s say this is the case. How
would you ever know the rotten things I’ve said and done to people?
Face it, I could be the world’s biggest dick in real life and you’d
never know it. Truth is, in this mediated, artificial setting, ego is
at its most self-congratulatory, most preening, most self-absorbed,
most disingenuously self-glorifying, ever. At least, the opportunity
and the temptation for such behaviours are monstrous. This is one
arena where they do get magnified and put up for all to see. It takes
a sharp intuition to spot it sometimes, and I do my best to be on
guard against these things, but sweet mother of jesus, how could I
not project a Photoshopped, safely sanitized, self-satisfying image
of myself here? And I haven’t even been embroiled in any
dick-swinging, snarky online defense/offense dramas (guh).
So
what happened over there, and more pertinently, what happened over
here just last night (which I also won’t go into; the details suck)
drive home a couple of points. One, no one is immune to their shadow.
Even the best of us have a dark side that will bite us in the ass
every time if we don’t do what it takes to get it under control.
That means awareness – constant vigilance – and conscious effort
over time. (And if you’re not up to making that happen, universe
has its own methods.) Three, no one is “the
good guy.” Not you, nor
I, nor anyone. We are simply characters with certain traits, certain
dramas happening, and whatever character arc the universe (and we, as
co-creators, if we ever get that far) decides.
Identity.
It’s what they put on your character sheet. What defines you? Those
are your limits. What do you define as “them” as opposed to “us?”
Is there a “them?” Not if you really think about it. Grant
Morrison talks about this in his excellently
thought-provoking, irreverent speech at Disinfo Con. (Thanks to the
cobweb-clearing breath of fresh air that is Dedroidify for that post!
Saved my ass this morning. Put me some on to magick, too. Which is
what, another word for conscious co-creation? At least, on a
mechanical level. A thing useful indeed, for those so inclined and
sufficiently self-reflecting. I may just avail myself; I think I
could use a bit of extramundane help right about now.) Now if you can
see everyone and everything as seemingly separate parts of yourself,
then you’re doing pretty good, aren’tcha? It’d be nice. Fix up
a lot of problems. – Yeah, and when you got real good at it, you
could be like Neo, bending the spoon and shit, ’sploding agents,
bringing Trinity back to life, seeing all the code, hackin’ the
Matrix like nothin’. Yeah. Sweet. I want my Neo shades. Ha-ha.
Anyway.
I see all that coming. Or maybe I’ve just drunk the Kool-Aid from
all this trendy neo-esotericism, swallowed the hype, got high on
wishful thinking. But no, it is possible. I can’t explain why I’m
so convinced. I just feel it, deep down. I read about such incredible
things beyond the mind-corral of consensus, programmed reality. I
have had dreams that haunt me with their beauty and mystery, with
their sense of having bled through a veil that separates our world in
time and space from a myriad other realities. I know so much more is
possible than what the self-styled authorities, the gate-keepers
would have us believe. All we have to do is expand our sense of what
is possible, of what we have the power to do. That’s not some
airy-fairy, feel-good phrase. It means reclaiming what belongs to us,
by taking responsibility and owning all the things we’d rather deny
about ourselves, the good and the bad. By discovering and saying no
to all the energy-draining schemes. By dropping away the false
disempowering beliefs we’ve been programmed with. By healing our
bodies and minds. By channeling our creativity. By drinking in beauty
and facing the ugliness without fear. By intending that our life be a
continuous journey of growth and discovery. By flowing with that
current, trusting in your heart, your intuition, your inner power,
all the uncountable gifts life gives you every day.
I
have a weakness for trying to explain shit. Forgive me. I try not to
overstep my depth here. I don’t like pretentiousness in others;
that probably means I have a bit of it myself, waiting to be made
friends with. I’m probably OK. You probably get forgiven a lot more
when you don’t take yourself too seriously. That’s the whole
thing with narcissism (the primary spiritual affliction of our age,
according to John Lash). It means you just gotta get over yourself.
I’m
working on it. Doesn’t seem like much progress is being made,
but... on the other hand, thinking of where I was ten or twenty years
ago... yeah, I’ve made progress. It’s nice to notice these
things. So often I get down on myself for not being way the hail up
the road a’ready... but lordy, what a relief it is to set down that
burden of impossible demands and expectations. That goes for what the
world oughta be, too. Adolescent whining and complaining? Such a
drag. Just stop, close your eyes and take a deep breath. Now let go.
See? You feel better already. Nuttin’ to it.
Stay
loose, stay cool, keep your third eye on the prize and the other two
on the road. Thank you all for no particular reason, just thanks for
bein’ there and for doin’ your thing. It’s all I can ask.
Thanks.
love,
william
P.S.
Breaking Bad was fucking awesome in every way. Kudos to all the guys
and gals who worked on it; they borned a classic. (I couldn’t think of a title for the post, so I fell back on a Jesse Pinkman-ism and now I'm angsting out over that. Oh boy, I need a break. To do something actually real.)
