Drunken Dispatch from the Cheap Seats.

The Matrix has you...

Indeed it does. It has us under its spell... this God-forsaking realm of animal urge under Demiurge. The human experiment reaches its morbid climax once again as another cycle of time approaches its inexorable end. A time of reckoning, a crossroads of fate. A more golden age, or a deeper, wider, longer hell than we could ever imagine. Lifetimes of iniquity and failure behind, and one more chance to make it right, to break the mould and exit this bloody stage of mundane mortality and the oppression of hateful laws. Might makes right. Dog eat dog. Ignorance prevails. The cancer is terminal. We lurch from day to lifeless day, unaware that the hungry maw of Death awaits to consume our wasted zombie flesh. We are already dead; it is only our continual state of distraction-denial and restless, outward activity that convinces us otherwise.

Believe and it is so. Conscious, waking-mind belief affects the appearance of reality; the deeper the level of belief, the more fundamentally it shapes our experience.

Today I have chosen the material nature as my frame of reference. I've given my lesser qualities a turn at steering the vessel. It is a choice. Yesterday was different; tomorrow will be different again. But today I embrace my fallen self. Mechanical. Bound. Yet I know... I know that that is not who I am. The essence of me is eternal and free. This will never change, no matter how I might deny it.

The ascending path is hard. It is narrow and steep. Through adamantine strength of will I could attack it head on and stay the course. But that is not my way. There are few with such strength. So I lapse into detour, the side-road that looks so much easier and leads nowhere but back to the true way. Lost time and rueful wisdom. Just for today. Tomorrow is a new day.

When shall we seek God? When the harvest is in and our bellies are full? When we've persevered with our own strength and won the glory and praise of this world? Not likely. It's when we've exhausted all other ways, when we're pushed to the brink, when all the faith we had in anything else is brought to ruin; that's when we turn to the true source of Knowing, Loving, Doing and Being. Our Divinity.

Theories, teachers, traditions, techniques. These can help us. But they will also hinder us.

You seek an experience of God? Fool. God is the one experiencing all things. You yourself are part of that wholeness. It is only your conviction that you are a separate being that keeps you from knowing this.

Your seeming separateness may seem a curse, but I say it is the greatest gift of all. Seek the One if you feel so inclined. Seek with every fibre of your being and you will find it. Seek by half measures and you will wobble, tugged by turns toward truth and death. In any case, you can only be what you are until you choose to make yourself something else. Make the change or have it made for you.

This day I have drunk of the wine of this beautiful prison earth. It is sweet poison for the blood, intoxicating the mind with a heavy softness that fades into guilt. How much more potent is the wine of heaven, which purifies, clarifies, and exalts the spirit!

4 comments:

    "You seek an experience of God? Fool. God is the one experiencing all things. You yourself are part of that wholeness."

    There is an experience of God, and it is the only true faith... St. Paul describes it as being "blinded by the light." It is a baptism in Holy Spirit, or Enlightenment, after which we really are reborn and remade....

    "It is only your conviction that you are a separate being that keeps you from knowing this."

    "It's when we've exhausted all other ways, when we're pushed to the brink, when all the faith we had in anything else is brought to ruin; that's when we turn to the true source of Knowing, Loving, Doing and Being. Our Divinity."

    Definitely true... our conviction keeps us separate... and our conviction runs as deep as an impenetrable fortress. I agree that we have to be pushed to the very brink of ourselves before we turn to God.... I think that God breaks us in order to break through our convictions. I think for some, our pride is so intense that the only way to cure it is to physically bring us to our knees. Once we have nothing else, once our surface beliefs are drained, the heart is forced to turn in true faith to God.

    Just some more thoughts inspired by your writings! :) I totally agree with this post.

    -T

     

    I haven't had the fortune of a direct experience of the glory of God in this life... psychedelics notwithstanding... but I haven't needed it, nor is it my goal to achieve it in this life. I do think God has the power to overcome our ego not just through life experiences but also directly, in a singular, crystal-clear moment of revelation... whatever God sees fit to do in our lives, he will do, acting as the hidden force behind all things, even the wayward ego self.

    Why do I call it foolish to seek an experience of God? It is true that that is what we all seek, ultimately, on the deepest level. And we shall have it. But not before we have ceased to seek for it as a separated self that somehow lacks it to begin with. And this I would like to stress: that all the wonderful peak experiences in the world are worthless outside of the context of a love that compels us to serve others, as God is the greatest servant, who sacrificed his knowledge of himself, gave his very body so that the universe might live. God sleeps and the universe rolls on... from time to time he stirs, and I think that's where we are now. There is a quickening taking place. It's palpable and even scary, inasmuch as we're holding on to the old dream... Let go, free your mind of the deepest, oldest chains, and you will experience how amazing are the gifts of the Divine in these times of transition and transformation....

     

    "But not before we have ceased to seek for it as a separated self that somehow lacks it to begin with. And this I would like to stress: that all the wonderful peak experiences in the world are worthless outside of the context of a love that compels us to serve others, as God is the greatest servant, who sacrificed his knowledge of himself, gave his very body so that the universe might live."

    "that all the wonderful peak experiences in the world are worthless outside of the context of a love that compels us to serve others,"

    I love this... I've done shrooms before and it was nothing like the spiritual revelation I experienced when I was younger... nowhere near as intense, and nowhere near as life-changing. My experience changed who I was as a person, even though I was really young. It planted desires in me that only God can fulfill. I've met people before who were dying of cancer and were cured by that moment with God. But you're right, I don't think it can be experienced as long as it is being "sought" after as something separate from the self.

    The way you speak makes it sound like you've experienced it already! :) I hope you continue with your blog...

     

    Awesome experiences like this or my first times with cannabis and LSD (which I haven't written about here but were definitely mind-blowing), I think, are like travel brochures that give us a glimpse, an idea of what it will be like when we actually arrive at those states of consciousness with our whole being, having shed all the things that hold us down in this dense dream of conventional reality. Of course, here is where this portion of us is now, and those things are what we have to deal with along the way...

    I think the greater adventure is when we volunteer to enter this dream. On the other side, we can have all those wonders and abilities and knowings just by default, because we are one with the all-powerful source of consciousness. How much courage and faith it must take to strip oneself of all heaven's glory and become a mere mortal human! Such courage and faith is only possible with one who is intimately close to God. :)